Author Topic: JOKES  (Read 61452 times)

Offline fdrjk

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #255 on: November 03, 2011, 03:05:31 PM »
 :boo:
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Offline ztev0

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #256 on: November 03, 2011, 05:13:25 PM »
if 3 people having sex is called a threesome and 4 people having sex is called a foursome i got thinking maybe thats why people call jaQueero handsome
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Offline Booya

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #257 on: January 02, 2012, 02:31:44 PM »
   When blowing your nose thats full of snot, place the tissue around your nostrils using both hands, now blow. When you blow only half of it out and there is still more left in your nose, STOP! DO NOT INHALE TO BLOW AGAIN!<<< Pinch it off and start over.    trust me =/ rofl  raaaaaaaaaalllf
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Offline ReCycled

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #258 on: January 14, 2012, 02:43:42 PM »
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on the TV?”

I replied... “Dust.”

And then the fight started...

==============================

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, “I want something shiny that goes from zero to 180 in about 4 seconds.”

I said I would buy her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started...

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Offline Booya

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #259 on: February 15, 2012, 07:28:25 AM »
An old couple is sharing a single burger meal at the local mc d's. The old man seems to be the only one eating. One guy notices and thinks they are to poor to afford meals for each other. He offers the old man to buy them another meal. The old man kindly declines and tells the man they share everything. The man then offers the old woman an extra burger . She declines with a wave of her hand. The old man kindly declines again and tells the man its ok, they share everything. while the old man sits there eating, the old woman just seems to sit there watching her old man eat. Perplexed, the man starts to leave some money on the table for them. The old woman speaks up. "its ok, we share everything,
im just waitng for the teeth!
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Offline [BTF] Reflex

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #260 on: February 25, 2012, 08:41:44 PM »
Grounds for divorce.


My sons have taken to playing minecraft over the last week or so.
Wife walks by and looks over one of their shoulders at one point and watches for a few minutes.

She walks away commenting "looks just like quake"

 :dohdohdoh:
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Sometimes I think it’s a sin when I feel like I’m winnin’ when I’m losin’ again

Offline ReCycled

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #261 on: March 06, 2012, 03:44:34 PM »
A group of bikers were riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly guy, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to commit suicide,” she says.

While he didn’t want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked . . .

“Well, before you jump why don’t you just give me a kiss?”

So she does. And it was a long, deep, passionate, lingering kiss.

After she’s finished, the biker says,

“Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That’s a real talent you are wasting.  Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl . . .”
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Offline Sgt. Dick

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #262 on: March 06, 2012, 04:25:15 PM »
 :eek: :purpleshock:
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aka IOU

Offline Booya

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #263 on: March 07, 2012, 05:36:41 PM »
Two guys go camping at rock mountain. On the way to the mountain they stop at a bar and have some drinks. The bartender overhears the conversation and says to the guys,"your not going to rock mt are you, terrible Dan lives up there and dont like people about.  The guys brush it off and head up to rock mt.  A mile along the trail they set up camp. Dark is falling and all of a sudden there is a awfull rustling in the bushes. Out jumps a barrel chested man riding a cougar with a snake for a whip.  He grabs the steak off the fire and throws one to the cat and eats the other. Grabs the coffee off the grill and chugs it down, then he looks at the two men who are wide eyed and says " i'd love to stay and chat but terrible dan is right on my tail!
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #264 on: March 07, 2012, 06:04:08 PM »
 :lolsign: Haha! I was expecting the usual dirty joke with a punchline about buttfucking or squeeling like a pig, but this one took me by surprise.
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Offline astral

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #265 on: March 16, 2012, 06:30:26 AM »


I laughed at this one.....


Do you know the difference between God and Obama?




God knows he's not Obama!
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Offline Booya

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #266 on: March 21, 2012, 07:34:45 AM »
Tim Tebo kneels down and prays.."Lord, please bring this team a super bowl."   Enter Peyton Manning....Tebo, "What are you doing here?"  manning, " Jesus called"
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Offline Booya

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #267 on: March 22, 2012, 07:30:45 AM »
 The sound of No No No from behind ducktape sounds like mm mm mm
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Offline fdrjk

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #268 on: April 05, 2012, 01:24:05 PM »
Teacher: Our exam is tomorrow and no excuse is acceptable unless you're dying in the hospital.
Student: But what if I'm too tired from having sex all night to write the test, is that a legitimate excuse?
Teacher: No, you'll just have to write the test with your other hand.
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Offline The Happy Friar

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #269 on: April 05, 2012, 06:31:14 PM »
Why did Hitler loose the War?
Because the gas bills were killing him!

Da-dum!
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