Author Topic: JOKES  (Read 67247 times)

Offline [BTF]Sigma

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #285 on: September 28, 2012, 12:19:19 PM »
The Tampax tampon is named "The Pearl" because it goes in the clam.

You know somewhere some guy thought that up and to this day smores when he sees commercials for it
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Offline yahoo

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #286 on: September 28, 2012, 04:41:07 PM »
can call tampoons as "The Plug" since it stops the leak.
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Offline [BTF]Sigma

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #287 on: September 28, 2012, 05:15:46 PM »
Tampon is the French word for plug.
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Offline fdrjk

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #288 on: September 28, 2012, 05:38:35 PM »
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Offline [BTF]Sigma

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #289 on: September 28, 2012, 06:08:15 PM »
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #290 on: September 28, 2012, 06:55:50 PM »
I think someone once told me that the little ball they put inside cans of Guinness Extra Stout was called a "beer tampon".

That's bullshit though. It's actually called a "widget".
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #291 on: October 12, 2012, 12:35:11 AM »
What do women and dog shit have in common?

The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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Offline The Fluke

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #292 on: December 12, 2012, 04:19:40 PM »
- What does it mean when a dude is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
- You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

- A man with the IQ of 50 is called?
- Talented

The last one is awful.. but funny to

- Whats the difference between men and HIV?
- HIV progresses
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Silent people are either thoughtful or creepy

Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #293 on: December 12, 2012, 09:01:43 PM »
Not funny.

Now go make me a fucking sandwich.
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Offline Zeppelin

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #294 on: December 13, 2012, 06:46:42 AM »
A man walks into a bar... ouch.
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Offline Booya

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #295 on: January 06, 2013, 08:38:22 AM »
 :oops:  Eli Manning, Tony Romo, and Ben Rothlesburger walk into a bar.......To Watch The Playoffs!!! rotf
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Booya Fu

Offline Sgt. Dick

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #296 on: January 08, 2013, 04:38:04 AM »
 :bravo: :lolsign:
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aka IOU

Offline Booya

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #297 on: January 13, 2013, 01:22:20 PM »
 :humm:
« Last Edit: January 13, 2013, 01:33:39 PM by Booya »
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Booya Fu

Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #298 on: June 17, 2013, 02:54:52 AM »
What's white on the top and black on the bottom?

Society. :oops: :D
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Offline haunted

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #299 on: June 21, 2013, 08:11:24 AM »


As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost
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