Author Topic: The last movie you saw....  (Read 568605 times)

Offline poopoppa

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1110 on: August 20, 2011, 11:16:41 PM »
Any fans of Curb Your Enthusiasm? 10/10 because he's twice the asshole i aspire to be.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1111 on: August 21, 2011, 02:03:53 AM »
Max Payne - 5/10 - I could write a book about all the shit they fucked up with this movie... and I probably will, so here goes:

As the rating I give it suggests... so very average. I mean Jesus three-balled Christ, if the storyline of the video games would've been the same as the movie, they would've flopped like my fat dick when I unzip my jeans. Of course if you've ever played through the games completely, you kinda already know where the story is going to go and how the movie's going to end. But it's like they completely butchered the story contained in the games into 30 or 40 pieces, rearranged it, and then stuck it all back together.

True to form for these movies that are based on video games, they add key features of the game to the movie, and most of them translate very poorly to the screen.

  • Bravura is now a black guy, played by Ludacris. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? In the game, he was an older white guy. I guess they realized there no were black people in the game and decided to add some "color" and "hipness" to the movie to appeal to the black population as well as the kids who listen to all that rap shit. I don't mean to come off as racist or anything, but that seemed like a pretty retarded move in my opinion.

  • Vinnie Gognitti, pretty much a main character in the story in both games, was just completely omitted as a character except for the fact that they slapped his name on self storage sign where Max goes at one point in the movie. I suppose they thought the movie might do well enough to have a sequel and then they could work him into THAT movie. Yeah, NO. There will be no sequel, pretty damn sure of it.

  • They use a little of the "bullet time" part of the game in a couple of scenes when they show bullets traveling in slow motion, however, since they wanted a PG-13 rating to make it accessible to more of the younger crowd, it didn't have as much gratuitous violence and gun-slinging throughout as it definitely should have had. If they would've gone with an R rating, they could've made a lot more use of the Matrix-like "bullet time" effect and slo-mo shoot-dodging to make an action movie that would've put John Woo to shame.

  • Remember when you were playing the game and you shot someone with a shotgun at close range and their body would go flying about 20 feet away? Yeah, they shamelessly add that little part to a scene or two. They WAY over-did it in those brief scenes as well. It looks completely hokey in the movie. In the game, eh.... whatever, it's cool, it's a game. But it looks retarded the way they did it in the movie. If they wanted the shotgun to have a little punch and knock people back a few feet for dramatic effect, that would've been fine. But it looked more like they had a fucking spring-loaded wire attached to their ass that flung them backwards across the room. Just stupid looking.

  • Remember the pain pills he always took? No pills in the movie. More pandering to the MPAA to earn that coveted PG-13 rating so they can rake in more money from the kids. After all, we can't have the glorious hero popping pills like a drug addicted junkie in front of a bunch of impressionable youngsters, can we? That's one element of the storyline within the games cutscenes that gave it that great gritty noir feel, the fact that Max was such a fucked up and troubled individual.

  • Remember Mona Sax? Yeah, she's included. But for some stupid reason, they make her russian. Why? I guess because the games had russian mobsters in it, so they figured they'd work it in somehow. Fucking stupid.

  • Just like the game, the movie basically begins in the Roscoe Street subway restroom. Just like the game, the movie ends on the Aesir building rooftop with Max overlooking the snowy city. And like I mentioned before, the plot of the movie naturally follows the plot in the game except for the fact that everything between those two points is cut into pieces and shuffled around in a pathetic attempt to make the movie a little less predictable to the viewer... and it still fails. Honestly, I think if they would've simply stuck to the same exact script and storyline used in the first game, it would've made the movie 100 times better. There was nothing wrong with it... other than the fact that it was probably little too gritty and violent to earn the PG-13 rating. If it ain't broke, why fix it?

So my advice to you, skip this one, especially if you're fan of the games like me. All it'll do is disappoint you.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2011, 02:07:12 AM by |iR|Focalor »
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Offline poopoppa

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1112 on: August 21, 2011, 02:32:41 AM »
Lets hope your book doesn't get published. Would just be more ppl like me who didn't read it!
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1113 on: August 21, 2011, 02:47:00 AM »
the asshole i aspire to be.

Lets hope your book doesn't get published. Would just be more ppl like me who didn't read it!

If you aspire to be an asshole, which is what your response demonstrates, don't be surprised when people treat you like one. Furthermore, it's pretty retarded to aspire to be like some dickheaded fictional character you see on TV. Apparently you have problems separating fantasy from reality. What a weak minded little fuck you are.
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Offline poopoppa

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1114 on: August 21, 2011, 03:03:11 AM »
Hahahaha just the response i'd expect from you. As far as aspiring to be an asshole, i already am, just not enough of one. I wear it like a badge of honor. Don't get all pissy cuz i've stopped playin q2 but can still whoop your ass. Fucking hill billy.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1115 on: August 21, 2011, 01:38:01 PM »
Don't get all pissy cuz i've stopped playin q2 but can still whoop your ass. Fucking hill billy.

What the fuck did I just say, you illiterate fucking retard? Are the words too long and complicated for you to understand? DO NOT BE SURPRISED WHEN PEOPLE TREAT YOU LIKE AN ASSHOLE WHEN YOU ACT LIKE ONE. I'm not "pissy" because of a video game. This has nothing to do with any video game, this is because of what you chose to say to me. YOU are pissy because you think that being an asshole makes you cool and edgy. Like it somehow makes up for the fact that you're a weak little queer in real life. And when you act like a puffed up over inflated bag of piss and wind, I'm not gonna hesitate to react by bursting your ego-bubble with a pin and reintroduce you to reality, little girl.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2011, 01:45:28 PM by |iR|Focalor »
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Offline poopoppa

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1116 on: August 21, 2011, 04:32:21 PM »
You've always acted like a little bitch towards me since the days i whooped your ass in the rails server so i'm assuming thats where it all started. But we were "getting along" kind of on IRC, so when i said that about your book i was joking but you're too much of a hot headed fuck to take it as a joke. I don't need to be cool or edgy to you or any one on here. Get a life, you spend too much time on this forum, fatty.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1117 on: August 21, 2011, 04:49:31 PM »
You've always acted like a little bitch towards me since the days i whooped your ass in the rails server so i'm assuming thats where it all started. But we were "getting along" kind of on IRC, so when i said that about your book i was joking but you're too much of a hot headed fuck to take it as a joke. I don't need to be cool or edgy to you or any one on here. Get a life, you spend too much time on this forum, fatty.

Of course that's where you'll assume it starts, because you're an idiot that models himself after fictional characters he sees on the TV. Even when someone points it out to you in plain english how this went directly from point A to point B, you're too dumb to see how you intentionally prodded for the reaction you got. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Now you want to act like I'm the one victimizing you for any reason other than the obvious one. Fuck you, chump.
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Offline poopoppa

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1118 on: August 21, 2011, 05:05:25 PM »
I must've hurt your feelings to get such an angry reaction. You've probably had your feelings hurt all of your life to turn you into such an angry person. See a therapist, fatty.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1119 on: August 21, 2011, 05:56:08 PM »
It's not an angry reaction. It's me being a dick to you. We've been over this already, princess. If you don't like me being a dick, then don't be an asshole, simple as that. I'm the same way in person. Most other human beings on this earth are the same way. You spit on my shoes and I'm gonna piss on yours. You want respect, give it.
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Offline peewee_RotA

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1120 on: August 21, 2011, 07:26:39 PM »
Doom - 10/10

Probably the second time I've rated it. Watched it again. Mindless action with a terrible plot. If you expected anything else, you were never a real doom fan.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1121 on: August 21, 2011, 07:41:22 PM »
Yes, back on topic, PLEASE!

Doom - 10/10

Probably the second time I've rated it. Watched it again. Mindless action with a terrible plot. If you expected anything else, you were never a real doom fan.

I would rate that one probably a 3/10. I went to see it when it came out in theaters. I would've asked for my money back, but I would've felt wrong for doing it since I knew before it was halfway through that it was going to be horrible and should've walked out when I first realized that fact. At that point, I would've felt a little more justified in asking for a refund. But I actually sat there from start to finish, so I just accepted it and went home. That's kinda like eating a meal at a restaurant, cleaning your entire plate, THEN saying that it tasted like shit and refusing to pay the check. See, I do have a conscience despite what people may say.

The Town - 9/10 - Starring Ben Affleck. Actually it was DIRECTED by Ben Affleck as well. I usually hate Ben Affleck, but I quite enjoyed this movie, I think he did a good job directing it. To describe it, it's kinda like Heat meets The Departed. It's about some low on the totem pole Boston Irish mobsters that rob banks and armored cars for the local Irish mob capo in their neighborhood. Several good action scenes, even one pretty decent car chase scene, an aspect of the art of action/crime movies that's largely been forgotten about these days.

127 Hours - 6.5/10 - Starring James Franco, about a guy trekking it on foot through some canyons in Utah (I think, doesn't matter though) when he slips and his arm is pinned between a narrow canyon wall and a large boulder. It wasn't wildly entertaining or anything, I mean how much "action" can possibly happen to a guy that's stuck all alone in a canyon a hundred miles from nowhere. Still worth watching I suppose.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2011, 08:00:22 PM by |iR|Focalor »
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Offline adz1La

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1122 on: August 21, 2011, 10:08:24 PM »
the town was decent..donno about 9/10...maybe 6-7 :D
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1123 on: August 21, 2011, 10:12:53 PM »
the town was decent..donno about 9/10...maybe 6-7 :D

Yeah, I'd normally give it a 6 or 7 for having Ben Affleck in it,... but I liked everyone else and the story was really good, so I ignored him and went with a generous 9.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: The last movie you saw....
« Reply #1124 on: August 22, 2011, 12:32:27 AM »
Gran Torino - 9.5/10 - Excellent movie. I would've given it a 10, but some of the supporting actors were pretty bad at times, especially whoever played Tao. But the overall story and Clint Eastwood made up for that minor detail. You really can't go wrong with a Clint Eastwood movie. I don't think I've seen one single film with him in it that wasn't great. And I haven't seen Bridges of Madison County yet, so that's still true. If anyone else has seen Bridges of Madison County, how about letting me know if it's safe to watch it, I don't wanna ruin my own opinion of him if it turns out to be a piece of shit.
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Tom Servo

November 04, 2024, 05:05:24 PM
The Joe Rogan Experience episode 223 that dropped a couple hours ago with Musk, they're talking about Quake lol.
 

Costigan_Q2

November 04, 2024, 03:37:55 PM
Stay cozy folks.

Everything is gonna be fine.
 

|iR|Focalor

October 31, 2024, 08:56:37 PM
 

Costigan_Q2

October 17, 2024, 06:31:53 PM
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Tom Servo

October 11, 2024, 03:35:36 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA
 

|iR|Focalor

October 10, 2024, 12:19:41 PM
I don't worship the devil. Jesus is Lord, friend. He died for your sins. He will forgive you if you just ask.
 

rikwad

October 09, 2024, 07:57:21 PM
Sorry, I couldn't resist my inner asshole.

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