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Messages - XANA

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1
tastyspleen.net / Re: Clemency for the banned?
« on: January 27, 2024, 10:08:05 PM »
I think Spawny should have been banned much sooner. If not for her sake, for everybody else's sake.

When she started to misinterpret greetings and hallucinate personal attacks out of nowhere is when she should have been banned. I don't know exactly when this happened.

I don't think what ultimately happened to Laura was unfair. It was the best thing that could have happened when she was at the point she was at.

Could something else have been worked out? Is it even worth it to think about it? I don't think so.

There were so many times Laura stepped over the line, I can't even begin to imagine how many. She definitely abused peoples' trust and harassed others. There are people who did the same thing to her as well. I can say that because I was one of those people. I don't lose too much sleep over this, however.

There are so many logs, forums posts, and DM's that out there, too many to count. I actually lost all of my logs between March 2010 and May 2010 because my computer had a virus. My parents re-imaged the computer and it deleted my files.

Until a genuine collection of historical data and logs is cultivated in one place, the full, objective timeline and narrative of Spawn Girl will remain hazy for those who don't have the time or patience to sift through everything. Some of the details are a little hazy myself as I don't remember every interaction I've ever had with her.

quadz did and said a lot of things to Laura behind the scenes as well. Some of it became public, some of it didn't. The logs that didn't are what is "lost".

One such example is the exchange she had with quadz where she agreed to license her overrides under a Creative Commons license. This directly disproves the point that her work was "stolen" because the entire email exchange is public: http://forum.tastyspleen.net/quake/index.php?topic=14266.msg149923#msg149923

There are many other examples like this, but it's too many to sift through. This one was memorable because it was a pretty big deal at the time, and it still didn't stop her from publicly posting psychotic rants all the way until late 2011.

I personally don't have any problem talking about Spawn Girl. This happened 14 years ago at this point. I don't see it as being any different than talking about anything else that happened that long ago.

There are many things that Laura did and said that are still funny to me looking back, but are now underpinned with the knowledge they came from a mind that just wasn't well.

That's just my perspective on it. I choose to take an empathetic view on Laura even after all of the lies, harassment, abuse and threats. That's my "problem", if you want to call it that. You may disagree with that, but that's okay with me.

Your perspective may be more negative, or more positive. It may be based on real interactions you had with her or it may be based on hearsay. It is what it is.

As I said before, I just hope Laura's doing better now.

I'll just leave it at that, but if anybody has a genuine problem or if I'm remembering things wrong, just DM me about it for now.


Is traps,
-xana

2
tastyspleen.net / Re: Clemency for the banned?
« on: January 20, 2024, 09:41:21 PM »
1. A creative, positive and hopeful person works long and hard on their dream project/job over many years.
2. A miserable bunch of jealous, spiteful subhuman degenerates work to destroy that dream over as many years.
3. Eventually the degenerates let their jealously get the better of them and then they plot to steal said dream.
4. The degenerates steal said dream, someone in charge ratifies the theft and then absolute fucking chaos ensues.
5. The degenerates lie endlessly about the theft and then go on to mismanage and/or destroy what they stole.
6. The creative, positive and hopeful person ends up utterly deprived of ANY justice and then slowly goes insane.

I remember creating overrides with Zeppelin well over 13 years ago and using Laura's work as a blueprint. They sucked at first, but I got good enough at making them to finally understand how to twist the atmosphere of a map by editing the entities. She never had any praises for my work, she would always call it trash and lame and way worse than her own work.

But I never let it get to me. I thought it was funny. Because I knew I enjoyed making them and I liked how they came out, and everyone else did too. I was secure in my own work. I didn't care about having a portfolio or realizing some lofty dream, I just wanted people to have fun with what I made. It wasn't that big of a deal.

This quoted narrative appears to be a shared hallucination from Laura's head. She wasn't able to properly cope with her critics and the hallucinations spawned by her psychosis. Even with all of the praise in the world, it was only a matter of time before her delusions caught up with her.

What she needed was something she was never going to get from anyone here. Not praise or accolades or anything like that, she needed something else. I can't speak for what exactly that may have been, because I didn't know her.

There may be people who want to bring you down, of course. But it's going to be okay if you understand yourself, just live and let live.

If you want to know more details about what happened, feel free to DM me.

3
tastyspleen.net / Re: Clemency for the banned?
« on: January 20, 2024, 03:29:24 PM »
i remember the Argentinian girl that got banned a long time ago. she played xatrix right.

I was chatting with a couple of my friends the other day and we got on the topic of this game, and I thought of Laura again. When I started to tell them the story of Spawn Girl, we began to realize just how tragic that it was in the grand scheme of things.

I feel like you could write an entire book on Laura and everything she went through here. It'd be a really compelling story on social media and online toxicity and it's role in mental illness.

Laura frequently suffered from psychosis and frightening hallucinations. She would very often, if not constantly, misinterpret normal everyday messages and signs as personal attacks against her. She was simply reacting against these frightening hallucinations in the same way anyone would, by defending herself.

She was someone who just wanted to combine two of her favorite pieces of media from her childhood and share it with the world; survival horror and Quake 2.

And she did it. People liked it, a lot. There were some people who didn't like it, though. Some people didn't like her, either. There were definitely people that said some hurtful things to her in the beginning, for sure. This was where the psychosis started. Over time, the line between positive feedback and personal attacks became blurred to her.

Once she started defending herself against these hallucinations, she would create public spectacles. Which fueled more people to join in and watch it. Which made the psychosis worse. It was a cycle. I was unfortunately one of those people.

She gave us all so much information about herself. Her full name, her face, her family, her Facebook, everything. Deep down, she really did just want people to accept her. To everyone else though, it was just ammo.

She had real life friends as well, but there's no way they could understand what she was going through. I don't know what happened in her personal life that lead her to that mental state. We can only guess; either way, it's none of our business.

In 2011/2012, her father unfortunately passed away. Watching her own father slowly wither away only fueled her psychosis even further. She started making legal threats and posting psychotic fantasies online about killing the people who she had seen as having done her wrong. Just another spectacle.

Sometimes I wonder why she was allowed to create these spectacles as long as she did when she was clearly suffering from a mental illness. Quadz frequently tried to empathize with Laura and make her feel better, but continued to give her and everyone else a platform to publicly watch her mind spiral out of control. I still don't know how to feel about this.

What else could we have done to help her?

I don't know. It's in the past now. A lot of that history is now lost with quadz' passing.

Maybe in the future, I can do a better job at handling these kinds of situations. Maybe we all could.

I don't care to know too much about what Laura is doing, or even really talk to her again.

But I do hope her mind is in a better place now.

4
Bot Drop / Re: First hack of the year 2993
« on: January 06, 2024, 12:41:11 AM »
Alpha, stop being mean to Killah just because he's black. He can't help it.

5
Quake / Re: Quake 2 remastered discussion - news and rumors
« on: September 21, 2023, 06:14:18 PM »
I like the remaster. I think it does the original justice without changing too much. You can't ramp jump or do the funny double jump to lights + mega on dm1 easily but you can't have it all.

It's got a lot of my friends playing Quake 2 now which is very funny. I'm seeing Quake 2 shitposts and memes on Twitter now which is absolutely hilarious to think about.

But they didn't include Zaero so it's an automatic 0/10 for me, would not recommend.

6
tastyspleen.net / Re: TS500 2023
« on: August 06, 2023, 08:36:44 PM »
I'll be there. Mostly to stream to my friends.  :D

I'd love to see this kind of thing happen more often, honestly. Big one-off events and junk.

7
tastyspleen.net / Re: IRON-FISTED DRACONIAN FORUM POSTING RULES
« on: June 15, 2023, 11:27:47 PM »

8
Quake / Re: Hackusations on dm server
« on: April 16, 2023, 08:56:47 PM »
Unironically just set up a ticketing system.

9
Quake / Re: The biggest cheater of 2022 goes to...
« on: December 26, 2022, 09:03:14 AM »
Yup no bot/walls.

You seem very comfortable with giving yourself an advantage by using very loud pickup sounds, though. If you wanna truly start talking some shit you might need to actually start using some walls yourself. :D

10
Quake / Re: EDL #13 - Signups Now Open
« on: November 20, 2022, 02:27:10 AM »
forced
w/o

11
dm / Re: 888 needs to be muted
« on: October 09, 2022, 09:37:40 PM »
The Edge (roofquad)
XANA entered the game
mystery entered the game
A entered the game
WallFly[BZZZ] entered the game
Demon entered the game
5656 entered the game
Usage: connect <server> [34|35|36]
Bozo didn't see A's handgrenade
Darkness entered the game
mystery almost dodged 888's rocket
Bozo was blasted by XANA
Demon: 5656 Butt Buddy
mystery almost dodged 888's rocket
A was railed by XANA
5656: your papi is here
Bozo almost dodged 888's rocket
Bozo disconnected
Demon almost dodged 888's rocket
888: mmmmmmmmmmmmm Scream LOUDER
XANA was machinegunned by A
Demon ate 888's rocket
Darkness didn't see XANA's handgrenade
888 was railed by A
888 was railed by A
888 was railed by A
888 was railed by A
A was railed by Demon
888 was popped by XANA's grenade
A was popped by XANA's grenade
mystery was popped by XANA's grenade
888: 200
mystery almost dodged A's rocket
888: railling
888: trah
888 was popped by XANA's grenade
Demon was shredded by XANA's shrapnel
mystery almost dodged A's rocket
XANA: I enjoy crack.
Demon almost dodged A's rocket
Couldn't load pcx: File name too short
Darkness ate A's rocket
Quad Camp BFG entered the game
Demon was popped by XANA's grenade
+1 LuckyButt entered the game
áîôéãèåáô‘ +1 LuckyButt is not using anticheat.
888 was cut in half by A's chaingun
mystery was popped by XANA's grenade
+1 LuckyButt almost dodged 888's rocket
Quad Camp BFG was railed by mystery
mystery was shredded by +1 LuckyButt's shrapnel
A caught 888's handgrenade
Darkness was popped by XANA's grenade
A ate Demon's rocket
Quad Camp BFG ate +1 LuckyButt's rocket
mystery ate Demon's rocket
+1 LuckyButt almost dodged Demon's rocket
mystery was machinegunned by Darkness
+1 LuckyButt ate Demon's rocket
A almost dodged Demon's rocket
No Grenades for Grenade Launcher.
A was blown away by 888's super shotgun
Demon was shredded by XANA's shrapnel
Darkness almost dodged Demon's rocket
Demon blew itself up.
mystery was blasted by XANA
888 was blown away by +1 LuckyButt's super shotgun
Demon almost dodged A's rocket
888 was railed by Quad Camp BFG
Demon ate 888's rocket
A was shredded by XANA's shrapnel
888 almost dodged mystery's rocket
Darkness was popped by XANA's grenade
A was popped by 888's grenade
888 tripped on his own grenade.
mystery was blown away by +1 LuckyButt's super shotgun
+1 LuckyButt was shredded by XANA's shrapnel
Quad Camp BFG was railed by Demon
A was blown away by +1 LuckyButt's super shotgun
Quad Camp BFG almost dodged Darkness's rocket
Quad Camp BFG disconnected
+1 LuckyButt ate Darkness's rocket
Darkness was railed by 888
+1 LuckyButt was popped by XANA's grenade
+1 LuckyButt was popped by XANA's grenade
Demon was popped by XANA's grenade
mystery was railed by 888
XANA: someone bring grenades to mega
XANA: thanks :)
888 was shredded by XANA's shrapnel
+1 LuckyButt was popped by XANA's grenade
Demon was shredded by XANA's shrapnel
mystery was popped by XANA's grenade
888 was railed by A
888: wall
888 was railed by A
mystery was popped by XANA's grenade
888: trash
mystery was railed by A
888 was popped by XANA's grenade
888 has moved to the sidelines

A disconnected
Demon almost dodged mystery's rocket
Demon was popped by XANA's grenade
mystery was popped by XANA's grenade
XANA ate mystery's rocket
mystery was railed by Demon
7 entered the game
888 joined the game
888 was railed by Demon
7 was railed by mystery
Demon: come to pappi
888 has moved to the sidelines
888: 3 on 1
mystery was railed by Demon
7 was popped by XANA's grenade
Timelimit hit.
-------------name---fph---minutes---frags---
             XANA   168      9.98      28
            Demon    60      9.97      10
     +1 LuckyButt    50      6.03       5
          mystery    30      9.98       5
         Darkness    18      9.79       3
XANA: naded

 :erhmmm:

12
dm / Re: Kickoff to 888 merchandise
« on: September 15, 2022, 02:55:40 PM »
The silence is deafening....

 :erhmmm:

13
dm / Re: Kickoff to 888 merchandise
« on: September 08, 2022, 09:58:12 PM »
I am currently in possession of absolute and irrefutable proof that 888 had direct ties to Jeffrey Epstein. How do you respond to these allegations?

14
dm / Re: 888 needs to be muted
« on: August 21, 2022, 01:50:00 PM »
what they dont understand is by not banning tards like 888 ,, its actually killing the game itself...how many new comers has he ran off .. or current players ?  if the trash were taken out I bet twice as many ppl would play the game..
....but that's just my 2 cents and I'm nothing but a penny waiting for change

Haven't bothered to read over this thread that much, but me and quadz personally got in a few spats over this exact topic. My argument was that allowing people to continuously grief the server just enabled people to keep doing it and passed the responsibility of dealing with it onto other people who weren't doing anything wrong by just "ignoring it". In addition, a very large majority of multiplayer games out there either actively disallow or at the very least, say they don't allow this type of behavior. The idea is that part of the success of a game in the modern era is to create at least a somewhat welcoming atmosphere to new players or people who aren't "in the know"; and even if shit talk is present, genuine toxicity and harassment shouldn't be allowed. It was always my assumption that ignoring someone worked best when maybe you didn't like someone or if you thought they were just being kind of annoying in chat, not when they were being a genuine disruption to everyone.

It was also very confusing why things like the n word and slurs against black people like "porch monkey" quadz would always put a stop to, but slurs against Mexicans, gay people and Jews were fair game on the DM server, but that's another argument altogether.

Here was quadz' stance on this issue when I brought it up in private around 2017:

Quote from: quadz
The "I have to deal with it" tell for cognitive dissonance.

;)

There has been a consistent feature over the years of personalities who get riled up by trollish language, and "I have to deal with it" is the sweet spot in the Venn diagram.

Is it forseeable there could be any utility in reflecting on when and whether one is ever truly obligated to pay heed (or even give a fleeting second thought) to comments made by some anonymous rando in a video game? What if he said things, and nobody listened?

If, for the sake of argument, one were to adopt a view favoring free expression over censoriousness, then might not /ignore be regarded as a tool empowering individuals to tailor their own online experience?

If nothing else it allows solutions to converge from both directions (client and server.)

Regards,

quadz

I eventually dropped the argument and respected his view and decision. If people were to actually not play as a result, I like to think he would have respected that as well.

However:

Alright, seems I have nothing to lose. I will then start this spam campaign you talk so much about. I will increase my private message spam amount from 10 to... let's say, 1000 for starters. If I get banned, maybe I'll get one of those VPN connections you talk about.

The whole forum software is very old version and has probably numerous vulnerabilities and is just begging to get hacked.

quadz would have never allowed this; krenz was permabanned for this exact type of thing almost instantly. You are very lucky that administration still allows you to post after threats like this.


Respectfully,

sh1va

15
lol relax, I'd never expect you to actually program something like that anyway. Plus I've wasted hours creating jump maps that took 15+ minutes to complete so I'm not much better. :D

It's fun to look back at what could have been and this is just one of them. The premise of eliminating latency in this game was completely overshadowed by the fact that Razor did it and you just proved that point. How many home/away games in TDM could have just been a complete non-factor if we didn't have to worry about hitscan latency?

This is definitely something to at least look into, if you find it annoying having to lead shots in this game.

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