Car Stories

[|iR|Focalor]

i could hit a full-sized dumpster at 30mph in reverse, leave a good sized dent in it, and drive away unscathed.

I dunno... call me crazy... but for some reason I think you've actually tested that theory. 

[metaL]

i could hit a full-sized dumpster at 30mph in reverse, leave a good sized dent in it, and drive away unscathed.

I dunno... call me crazy... but for some reason I think you've actually tested that theory. 

haha, many times my friend. the dumpster at the local fishing pier had a rough summer or two.

where I grew up, there were TONS of places to drive on the beach. you still can, but its more restricted now.  as you all know, because of wind, erosion, hurricanes, etc. the geography of beaches changes quite a bit over time.  I can recall one year when the sand was so flat and hard, a ferrari could have driven on it if you could get the thing over the dunes lol.  anyway, one day i was cruising with 3 of my friends in the truck seeing how fast we go on the beach.  i'm not kidding when i say i've done over 90mph on the beach.  i don't expect anyone to believe it, but i have no reason to lie nor am i proud of doing it.  anyway we got a little too close the ocean one time, and a big wave broke in front of my truck.  at the time i was doing 60, and although the sand was hard and flat, of course there is no traction.  i was aware of this, and tried to only slightly turn away from the water in order to avoid spinning out.  i failed, however, and my truck was essentially going completely sideways at 60mph.  IT DIDN'T FLIP!  we eventually stopped after completing a 540, leaving a skid mark in the sand roughly 100 yards long.  lucky the s10 didn't have a lift and the beach was so flat... when we finally stopped all of us just looked at eachother in silence for about 5 seconds until i said "not bad, ey?"

[metaL]

after hurricanes that caused serious floods, many cars get totalled and some are put out next to the road just waiting to be towed away.  yet another instance where concrete slabs from the cement plant came in handy    I once tossed a 40lb rock at a 88 or 89 caprice, hitting it dead center at the top of the windshield where it meets the roof.  we were doing about 85mph at the time, and the rock basically made it a convertible.  the roof was sticking up in the air, slightly bent back. 

[metaL]

Apparently this is necessary.

just so there are no misunderstandings, this was a very long time ago and i am not posting any of this to brag in any way.  every story is true.

 

[playboy]

sounds fun 

[metaL]

so one time i was heading back to college after going through the whole "meet he parents" shit with one of my ex-girlfriends back in 2004.. first of all i drive a black 2000 maxima with aftermarket rims and tint (it was already there when i bought it) and i was doing 80-85mph on an interstate with speed limit 70mph.  over the course of the trip i'd trail behind certain groups of cars that were driving faster than me just to save some time and not have the spotlight on my car alone if we ran into a cop. in this case, their happened to be 3 other black cars with aftermarket rims and other thugged out bs in one of the groups.  as soon as they saw my car they were fucking with me, trying to get me to race, etc. and i didn't respond. eventually they got bored i guess and 2 of the cars, a black accord v6 and a black galant got in front of me, in both lanes, and started slowing down.  in a 70 zone, for one 10 second period there were about 20 cars backed up doing 45mph in a 70. i was in the right lane and got sick of this somewhat quickly.  i passed the accord in the right lane adjacent to the guard rail, and knowing that they'd try to catch me, kept the pedal down.  they did try, but i gradually kept increasing my lead until they quit.  that day i learned that my car could do over 130mph. 

[[BTF]Sigma]

HAHAHA thug bitches got owned

[ReCycled]

that day i learned that my car could do over 130mph. 

Nice. My best is 135 mph in my highly modified RX7. The spoilers, front and back, kept me from becoming airborne when I crested some hills.

Remember, kids, when you're doing 220 kph and you enter a long sweeping curve - you might not make it. Take some racing courses first, before you dabble in this stuff...
 

[metaL]

that day i learned that my car could do over 130mph. 

Nice. My best is 135 mph in my highly modified RX7. The spoilers, front and back, kept me from becoming airborne when I crested some hills.

Remember, kids, when you're doing 220 kph and you enter a long sweeping curve - you might not make it. Take some racing courses first, before you dabble in this stuff...
 

yeah, i've been 135 in a m3 before and once in a lexus rx300.. the m3 of course could've done much more.. never broken 140 though personally.. and the few times i've come close, i was at 10 & 2 and my eyes were on the road even more than they were in driver's ed haha

[metaL]

another time i was heading home from school on the same interstate (70mph) and the speed dropped to 45 mph when getting close to a nearby town.  the avg. speed of the cars probably went from just under 80 to just over 60.  1 min. later there was a large construction site about a half mile before a bridge (<1000ft in length, not very high) that led to the town.  where there usually was no median, there was that long chain of plastic orange construction zone barrier.  it was a 35 zone, and everyone had slowed down but me (go figure, long ass drive). i was doing a good 52 in a 35 i'd say, and when the state trooper passed and i saw his break lights on, i made a choice.  knowing that the trooper had to travel a good 1/4 mile before he could turn around.. i took off. the bridge up ahead was also a 35 zone, on which i was doing 105.  at the top of the bridge i knew if the upcoming traffic light was yellow, i was fucked.  coming over, it was red and then green almost instantly. knowing that the cop was still on my tail, i kept up a good 70mph 3 lights into the town (all were green otherwise i'd be putting nissan's break pads to the ultimate test) and turned into a gas station, somewhat hiding my car behind another.  adrenaline pumping, i got out of my car and was walking into the front door of the gas station as the trooper pulled up FAST and rolled down his window.  "you were going a bit fast back there, weren't you?" at this point i had no idea how much he saw, and said "5 over.." he then asked what the speed limit was in the area he had clocked me, and i said "forty-five" playing dumb.  after i told him i had just had 2 finals and was going home to visit my mother 5 hours away, he said "i can tell you didn't know you were speeding that bad, just keep it slow from now on." i said "ok, thank you, officer." 

[Whirlingdervish]

That reminds me of a speeding ticket I got about 2 years ago in my very beat honda.
The car was a 1980 Honda Accord 1.8 liter with a 3 barrel carb. It was rocking somewhere in the neighborhood of 260,000 miles and would still drive a curvy road like a rally car (a shitty rally car).

I was driving out through the hills to a rural town about 15 miles away where I go to shoot trap and skeet, and I had my girlfriend and one of her chick friends riding along in the back seat, with my gun cases in the front because the trunk wasn't wide enough to get them in there, and a big stinky doobie burnin on my lip.

The road was a nicely paved 2 lane (1 each way) that was banked nicely and curved around most of the hills going through the valleys, so I was driving through it like a bat out of hell at about 55-60 in what was posted 35mph with smoke pouring out the windows and the girls in the back keeping my ass end on the ground.

I came upon the toughest set of corners on the road and knowing what was in store, I cut speed to about 40 and got in position for it because the road quickly started dropping off down a steep sudden grade and into a wicked S-turn that's posted 10mph on huge signs. I tore through the corner with the honda screaming sideways on its little wheels and coming out of the bottom of the corner, I found myself looking pretty much straight ahead (out the side window ) into the eyes of a Sheriff parked in his car who was in a little driveway that T-ed into the road I was on.

He was sitting there waiting to get people for little 5mph over tickets, and I noticed the look of shock on his face as I came around the corner going nearly 4 times the limit, spitting rubber and looking right at the guy out the side window of a sideways rusted-out shitbox.

I came out of the corner still doing 35-40, straightened it out, and pulled over to the side before he even lit me up. I thought I knew what was coming, the second I saw his face while I was still in the midst of the highly dangerous and fairly spectacular manuever.

He came up, took one look at me, asked the girls how they were doing (they answered in their cutest tones) and wrote me a ticket for going 10 mph over while trying not to laugh. It was only after he got back into his car and drove away that I realized I had a joint that had burned out, still clenched in my lip.

 



For reference, here's a 1980 honda accord 4 door shitbox just like it:

[metaL]

hahaha nice. cop thought "no way.. no fucking way.. its tobacco.. gotta be. is this kid testing me? nonsense! oh well.. damn one of those girls is cute!"

[metaL]

first (and only - knock on ColdFlo's skull) time in handcuffs... during my sophomore year of college, my roommates and i had come to the conclusion that steak wasn't going on "VIC buy" nearly enough at Harris Teeter, and it was time to take action.  before you knew it we had a loaded 12 gauge shotgun (which belonged to the 4th roommate who had an insane scholarship and would have no part in the matter, but let us borrow the gun), a one million candlepower spotlight, a box full of shells, and MY CAR with a 3 dollar blanket spread out in the trunk to soak up deer blood.

as we headed out of town into some heavily wooded areas, my friend in the passenger seat was getting a bit too trigger happy with the spotlight.  i told him there's no sense in shining that damned thing anywhere but a perfect place to shoot.  he didn't listen of course, and we kept going.. eventually our shooter (we made the youngest one be the shooter.. i'm a great marksman but there's no way i was letting either of these guys drive my car haha) chased after 2 deer that bolted just before he could get a shot.

about 30 mins later my friend in the passenger seat was shining the light again, and we were spotted by a patrol car at an upcoming intersection.  i went straight through the intersection, not knowing it was a dead end road.  we were pulled instantly.  during our quest we had been riding with one of my back seats down, and we stashed the gun and spotlight in the trunk and put the seat back up.

the cop comes up to my window and says "you know its illegal to spotlight in ******* county." i said "are you serious?!" he goes "you see a smile on my face?!"....  "no sir." lol he then got my license and registration and asked if we had any weapons in the car. "OHHH no sir.. noooo."  when asked what we were doing, we just said that we were looking at the wildlife, and the guy in the back pretended that a very small flashlight that happened to be in my car was the light the cop saw.

before you knew it, there were 5 cop cars (6 officers total) parked all around my car.  just before the warden got there, one fatass cop said he was going to search my car (he didn't ask). and i basically said "nahhh man" lmao, next thing i knew i spun around at the shoulders and shoved against the back of my car (not exaggerating), had my hands pulled behind my back and cuffed immediately.  at this time my roommates were still in the car.  once the warden came, he had a word with me about why i declined the search.  i remember his words "now, you said there no weapons in the car, but you aren't going to let the police search your car.. son, believe you-me, these cops WILL search your car anyway, and you may get into a lot more trouble than is necessary.. now if you have anything in that trunk you want to tell me about, you had best do it now."

as i proceeded the warden the truth, my roommates were getting fully interrogated by the deputies, and i could overhear them continually lying to the cops about weapons lol.  the warden opened the trunk and took the shotgun, ammo, and spotlight.  at this time, most of the cops started to leave, and the cop that had pulled as over to begin with saw the gun and said "THEY LIED TO ME!!! they lied to me!"  the whole time afterward, i was thinking man, if you pull over 3 college kids spotlighting at night and ask if they have any weapons, you very damn well might get lied to!

after about 30 mins fat cop took the cuffs off me and they actually just let me us go.  we weren't under the influence of any substances, and surprisingly we weren't even asked about it.  when we went to court, we somehow worked out some agreement with the public attorney in which each of us signed an agreement to not hunt within 2 years (and pay our fines within 2 years, $360 total), and the incident would be expunged.  we managed to stay out of trouble and pay our fines within that time; the only slip up was a paperwork error made on my records.. apparently someone marked my court date 1 year prior to the actual court date, and after a year went by and the fines weren't paid (i payed them 2 months before the 2 year deadline), there was a warrant out for my arrest temporarily.  needless to say, the parents finding out wasn't in my plans.

when i finally paid the fines, they actually GAVE ME THE GUN BACK, and the spotlight. i was in complete shock.  also, lol it was really funny during the time when the cops were waiting for the warden to arrive, as the police radio started blasting shit about some guy on crack beat the shit out of his wife and escaped in the woods.  so many damn cops came to harass us that they missed their only opportunity of the night to serve and protect. lol

[metaL]

I recall one time when a few friends of mine got us into a nice shit-talking contest with some tourists early in hs.  my friends and i were all 14-16, and the douche tourists were in their mid 20's.  one of the bigger dudes kicked a dent in my truck, and just as he was calling me a bitch for not retaliating, i kicked a much bigger dent in my truck and said "pussy." lol

[McTitties >CG<]

A few years ago I met these rich guys from Texas. One was a fat fucker and the other was a midget. But, I digress. They were thirsty and offered me $80,000 to haul 400 cases of Coors beer from Texarkana, Texas to the Southern Classic stock car race in Georgia - all in 28 hours! Unfortunately, due to federal liquor laws of the time, selling and/or shipping Coors east of the Mississippi River was considered bootlegging. Needless to say I accepted the challenge and recruited my buddy Cledus to drive the truck.

We reach Texarkana ahead of schedule, load our truck with Coors, and immediately head back towards Georgia. This is where it all goes to shit. I end up picking up this whore on the side of the road named Frog and she turns out to be a total cunt. She was supposed to marry some douche but bailed out at the last second. This makes the groom's sheriff daddy pretty angry and they end up chasing my ass all the way back to Georgia. In the end, hilarity ensued and we made it back in the nick of time.

The Texan's then had the nerve, the gall if you will, to make me a new offer - drive to Boston and bring back some shitty-assed clam chowder in 18 hours, double or nothing. I promptly told them to suck it. I dumped Frog at the nearest bus stop and used the $80,000 to buy porn and weed.

The End.