Whats the scariest thing you have done lately?

[Sgt. Dick]

Most of the crazy things I did, happened before I had kids.  My wife put a halt to that stuff and I went along because I knew she was right.
I still do some things that are a little edgy but the wife is ok with it as long as my life insurance will still pay  (there are a lot situations where life insurance won't pay if you die doing it. 
Once my kids are grown and on there own, I will probably try sky diving.

[|iR|Focalor]

The scariest thing I've done lately... was stand on my front steps smoking a cigarette. Sounds pretty dull and boring, and it should be. But it wasn't this morning.

A little back story first.

I think it was this past Friday morning, probably around 5am-ish when I went out the door beside the garage to go have a smoke. I keep the ashtray on the front porch, so if I go out that door, I walk around to the front porch. I had lit my cig and was walking up the walkway to the front porch when I saw something moving from out of the bushes and across the walkway right in front in the steps. Then I realized, "Holy shit! That's a fucking SKUNK!", so I turned around and walked pretty fast the other direction back towards the garage. I finished smoking my cigarette and just threw it out in the driveway because I sure as hell wasn't go walking where I just saw a skunk and risk getting sprayed. That shit is nearly impossible to wash out of your clothes or off your skin, and even if you TRY washing it out of your clothes, you're just gonna stink up your washing machine and every other piece of clothing that you try to wash afterwards too. So after about 30 mins, I went out the front door onto the porch, and as soon as I opened the door, the smell hit me like a fucking baseball bat upside the head. Apparently the little bastard had sprayed the bushes when he saw me.

So I'm thinking I'll probably never have an occasion to be that close to a skunk again. WRONG.

This morning I go out the front door with a cup of coffee. I'm standing there on the top step smoking my cigarette and drinking coffee when I look down and see something moving outta the bushes right at the bottom of the steps about 4 away from my foot. Like before, it's a tad after 5am, so the sun ain't up yet, but it's not pitch black either and there's just enough light to barely see. I see that it's something white and furry and I'm thinking it's a white cat and saying to myself, "God dammit, man. There's ANOTHER fuckin' cat in my yard.", because there's a neighbor a few houses up who has a cat and it's been known to kill birds in my yard and piss near my garden. But no, 'twasn't a cat at all. 'Twas the same god damn skunk apparently. And when I realized it was a skunk, I go trying to run the other direction, I smack into the front door and spill my freshly brewed boiling hot coffee all over myself. Meanwhile the thing stops in the middle of the walkway and lifts its tail. I just knew that little bastard was gonna hose me with it's funk. So I finally get the door open. I come back with my .22 pistol and by then it's nowhere in sight.

But I guess I lucked up by startling it the other morning when it loosed all it's ass-funk in the bushes. Skunks only have a certain amount of that stuff in their asses and it usually takes more than a week for them to produce more. So had that little fucker had a full tank, I probably would've been the recipient of it all down the front of my pants and feet.

Guess I gotta call animal control out here to trap this little fucker. I think it might've dug a den out going up under the foundation of my garage behind a bush. Cuz I see there's an awfully big hole there, and it's deeper than my arm can reach, and it's kinda odd that a skunk would just happen to take the same route TWICE after running into a human once before... unless of course it had a good reason, like if it had a den in that area. Last thing I want is a skunk taking up residence by my front door.

[Whirlingdervish]

You could probably bait him out in the middle of the yard by placing a tin of cat food a couple nights in a row. Once he's used to the bait, wait there inside the screen door with a beer and a chair. Then plink his ass with the .22 right thru the screen.

I used to take out crows in my yard like that, using my air rifle, and then just re-screen the backdoor after.

I'm not supposed to fire any sort of firearm in the city limits here, so the tactic was originally meant to muffle the sound a bit. I bet it'll keep you from spooking it tho.

[2d]

Dervish you are a cruel cold hearted son of a bitch. That skunk has every right to live. It had no choice in being born a skunk. Let animal control capture it and release it some where else. You dont kill a living being just because its trying to live, and since mr man doesnt want to eat it, killing it would be a crime against life.

Use your brain, let it live.

[yahoo]

I'm not supposed to fire any sort of firearm in the city limits here, so the tactic was originally meant to muffle the sound a bit. I bet it'll keep you from spooking it tho.

try a crossbow.
One trick I learned is to suppress the shot sound using a bottled water attached by tape to the muzzle.

[|iR|Focalor]

I already own a 9mm suppressor.

The problem with shooting it isn't the noise, it's the fact that the bullet will bounce off the walkway leaving a crater in the concrete and possibly hit someone elses house or someONE, or even my own house.

Already contacted animal control. They won't lift a fucking finger. So the only options I have is to either leave it alone, or do something to prevent it from re-entering it's burrow after it leaves. For the moment, I'm just gonna let it be. I kinda like the idea of the neighbors cat wandering into my yard and getting hosed with skunk funk.

[Whirlingdervish]

You can try to prevent it, but it will dig right back into that burrow. I had one that kept going back under the stoop next to the owner's office at work for more than a year. They live out in the train yard behind our factory and come to pick our landscaping for snails every morning and do property damage.

I covered the hole with bricks, filled it with dirt, cemented it in eventually.. I even pissed on it one time on the weekend to ruin the smell for him. Didn't matter. He liked that spot and dug it right back out in the same place within a few days every time.

[Sgt. Dick]

I kinda like the idea of the neighbors cat wandering into my yard and getting hosed with skunk funk.

 

[Booya]

Looking out the window during a big lightning storm when a monster bolt landed right across the street. MONSTER BOLT> had yellow, orange, blue and white colors. Everything happened so fast. My entire body felt like a bass drum beat once right when it hit. It was blinding. The boom was instant. First thing i think is, wow i bet that caused a sprite. I go to look at what it may have hit and i notice the neighbors house is on fire... I run over in the down pour and the owners are running out of the house.  The strike either hit the power pole, transferred down the line to their outside breaker box, or hit the breaker box itself, which then ran into their home and hit the water heater. 10 emergency vehicles show up. They had to whip out the chainsaw to cut out the exterior wall about 7 feet tall 3-4 feet wide, plus two more holes next to that one that were 1/4 size the big hole. They also cut out the floor and the ceiling on the interior to get to the fire. During which time i went and grabbed my camping chair and umbrella with some cheese and crackers and a drink and watched. I dont think they have home owners insurance the way they were talking about how screwed they are.

[|iR|Focalor]

i went and grabbed my camping chair and umbrella with some cheese and crackers and a drink and watched.

  That's fuckin' cold, dude.

[fdrjk]

I dont think they have home owners insurance the way they were talking about how screwed they are.

Clearly your neighbors must have angered Thor enough to smite their house into oblivion, so they obviously must have deserved it.

[Booya]

i went and grabbed my camping chair and umbrella with some cheese and crackers and a drink and watched.

  That's fuckin' cold, dude.

That was after we offered them refuge, gave them bottled waters and made the rest room available to his wife.   Plus I sat back in the shadows of the lilac tree so I would't be seen very well. I was quite warm btw. Sherpa hoodie

 If the mighty THOR struck his home because he threatened to shoot a puppy for barking at him on a nice sunny day, then perhaps. That qualm aside, I do "kinda" feel bad for them.