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A couple of poems for your dissection.
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Topic: A couple of poems for your dissection. (Read 2816 times)
[BTF]EyEsTrAiN
Swanky Member
Posts: 603
Fragtastical
Rated:
A couple of poems for your dissection.
«
on:
November 22, 2008, 08:37:04 PM »
Just a couple of poems of mine. Feel free to dissect them and give a little feedback.
"Tip Toe"
Tip toe
You can't run there, overburdened sensibility fills your shoes
Tip toe
You can't walk here, under stimulated fortunes you carry
Tip toe
You can't drink there, over restless needs poison your booze
Tip toe
You can't sleep here, under medicated wants you must bury
Anything that you desire, swept up in a sea of relief
Anything that you desire, stolen by the thief
Anything that you desire, washed up on the shore
Anything that you desire, but what I ask is so much more
Tip toe
You can't fall down there, lying on your agony and disgrace
Tip toe
You can't sing over here, your voice echoing with disgust
Tip toe
You can't think right there, turning violence which you encase
Tip toe
You can't work over here, disjointing apathy stained red with rust
Anything that you want, tossed down for all to see
Anything that you want, unleashed and finally set free
Anything that you want, poured down in the rainfall
Anything that you want, just not anything at all
Tip toe
Tip toe
Tip toe
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Can you hear it?"
Can you hear the voices, calling out to you
Calling out so softly, over, under, through
Telling you of all the things they would have you do
Leaving you with questions, because you don't know who
Would be calling to you
Can you hear them chatter, these voices of the blind
They sounded, oh, so nice at first, now they are unkind
Walking 'round your head at first, now they are inside
Place one foot in front while they will push you from behind
Astonishment divine
Can you hear the voices as they creep into your skin
What once was only one or two, expands to over ten
Hear them giggle at your fate, argue, fight, and win
All the voices, all at once, coming from within
Jabberwocky Army men
Can you feel them screaming now, wanting to commit
Hundreds, maybe thousands now, throwing such a fit
The mental ape house just went nuts, the apes are throwing shit
The voices cling and won't let go, right down into the pit
The time is now, this is it
All is strangely silent now, the voices have all ceased
The chattering has finally stopped, you can have some peace
You have tamed the nature of these nasty, screaming beasts
The mental houses are secure, all the streets are now policed
To say the least
Logged
"All life begins with Nu and ends with Nu. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
— "The Mystery of Life," vol. 841, chapter 26
kren.Z
Guest
Re: A couple of poems for your dissection.
«
Reply #1 on:
November 22, 2008, 10:00:32 PM »
«
Last Edit: January 28, 2014, 01:51:07 PM by krenZ
»
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|iR|Focalor
Irrepressibly Profuse Member
Posts: 15697
Help Destroy America: VOTE DEMOCRAT
Rated:
Re: A couple of poems for your dissection.
«
Reply #2 on:
November 23, 2008, 12:45:36 AM »
KrenZ: it's like something, but he's a pussy.
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[BTF]EyEsTrAiN
Swanky Member
Posts: 603
Fragtastical
Rated:
Re: A couple of poems for your dissection.
«
Reply #3 on:
November 23, 2008, 10:25:39 AM »
Thanks for the constructive criticism.
Logged
"All life begins with Nu and ends with Nu. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
— "The Mystery of Life," vol. 841, chapter 26
Th0m@s29
ShortBus
Sr. Member
Posts: 470
Stay Fit, Eat Healthy Die Anyways, Smoke Some Bud
Rated:
Re: A couple of poems for your dissection.
«
Reply #4 on:
November 28, 2010, 02:40:28 PM »
Cool lol.
Logged
If I don't smoke some bud I'll shrivel up and die like a beautiful flower without water.
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A couple of poems for your dissection.
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|iR|Focalor
April 24, 2024, 10:55:53 AM
omlette du fromage?
Admin
April 24, 2024, 07:08:22 AM
fin.
|iR|Focalor
April 22, 2024, 04:27:07 PM
Now it's over. Because I say it's over.
|iR|Focalor
April 22, 2024, 12:39:29 PM
It's over when I say it's over.
|iR|Focalor
April 22, 2024, 11:34:16 AM
Costigan needs a tampon.
Costigan_Q2
April 22, 2024, 02:53:12 AM
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Costigan_Q2
April 22, 2024, 02:51:20 AM
Will someone please muzzle and leash that barking dog? it's projections and delusions and now endless babbling are comically pitiable, just treat it like you would Beaver - that's what it deserves.
Costigan_Q2
April 22, 2024, 02:50:50 AM
Quake 2 needs a public square.
This is not a debate.
|iR|Focalor
April 21, 2024, 05:36:24 PM
If you were attached to reality, you'd realize that.
Quake 2 needs a private bathroom.
|iR|Focalor
April 21, 2024, 05:34:35 PM
I've never doxed anyone like he did or sent them 1000's of annoying whiny angry messages in all caps like you.
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