Roping a deer

[[BTF]Gator]

Contents of an amusing e-mail i recieved:

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Great story

 

Subject: ROPING A DEER


IF YOU'VE NEVER HUNTED, THE LUNACY OF THIS IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE WILL BE LOST ON YOU BUT NOT THE REST OF THE STORY.

Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms.

Roping A Deer:

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed
it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up
and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and
toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport
it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
They were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them.
I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the
feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension
on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.
A deer-- no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me
off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me
that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much
stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk
me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for
corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end
of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was
no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the
thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I
didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get
it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I
had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in
there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its
head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My
method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and
shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim
by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached
up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my
final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with
their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike
right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly
sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes
at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing
to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards
the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can
escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such
trickery would not work.
In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on
you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering
your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and eventually the deer went
away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle
with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.
To Do Is To Be (Socrates)
To Be Is To Do (Plato)
DoBeDoBeDo (Sinatra)
 
Susan E. Wilson
Suzy's Sweets, llc
 

[haunted]

Something crazy I found out about deer around 3 weeks ago: They can swim. Saw one swimming in salt water not far from my yard recently.

[Whirlingdervish]

oh yeah. you'd never imagine it considering how tiny their feet are, but they swim really well.
I believe that a lot of deer species even have special adaptations of their fur that allow them to trap air in it for warmth during the winter and increased buoyancy while swimming.

and yes, it is a terrible idea to try and catch a live deer.

they can jump over your car from a standstill, and kick you over a small tree, given half the chance.
They might look cute, but they're some tough fuckers.

[peewee_RotA]

Susan E. Wilson
Suzy's Sweets, llc

Either that's a boy named Sue or she really did scream and run like a woman.

[UUD-40]

I saw about three deer swimming in the Puget Sound once when I was on a ferry to Orcas Island. Looking at one, I would have never figured they could swim. 

[Pr0c3550r]

I saw about three deer swimming in the Puget Sound once when I was on a ferry to Orcas Island. Looking at one, I would have never figured they could swim. 

The Pacific North West, most beautiful place on the planet.

 

[The Happy Friar]

stupid stupid farmer. 

dear = big goats.  You get the rope around their neck (moderately tight) & tie it up.    Then walk away.  It'll lie down eventually. 

Besides, if it doesn't you can still FEED it there.  Less movement = more tender meat!

[Pr0c3550r]

Tie up a GOAT !

[peewee_RotA]

stupid stupid farmer. 

dear = big goats.  You get the rope around their neck (moderately tight) & tie it up.    Then walk away.  It'll lie down eventually. 

Besides, if it doesn't you can still FEED it there.  Less movement = more tender meat!

  Provide video when you try this

[haunted]

I kind of just skimmed through this story and assumed that this guy was talking about some monster deer, but now it doesn't sound like it. I think this guy just kind of let the deer man handle him. Go crazy on the deer even more than it's going on you. If it's got a few pts then put a wrap around a tree.

[The Happy Friar]

there's not much excitement about tieing up a goat & walking away.  Tackling sheep are WAYYYYYYYYY more entertaining. 

But I tie up the goats to walk them from point A to B every few days.  I'll get a video & watch the boringness amass on youtube. 

[Art]

I believe that a lot of deer species even have special adaptations of their fur that allow them to trap air in it for warmth during the winter and increased buoyancy while swimming.

They can swim across the Mississippi River and it's wide down here.     I never thought about the buoyancy of their fur, but that sounds plausible to me.

I use deer hair for tying certain trout and bass flies. The hair is hollow and adds buoyancy to the fly if you want it to float or sink slowly, depending on how much weight you use.

I've always LOL'd about people wanting to pet and hand feed wild deer. There are numorous stories of them getting trampled and gored. I personaly know of one not in the same context (mot me), but that's another story.

[[BTF] Reflex]

Grandpa stopped the car to cut off dead deer tails for the fly fishing thing....


   Ironic..  I have some venison in the crock pot as I type this.

[The Happy Friar]

mmmm......  can I stop by?