Author Topic: Marriage Thread. RUN!!!!! (Read 19750 times)

WallFly[BZZZ] · « **Reply #30 on:** June 17, 2008, 02:02:50 AM »

Quote from: peewee_RotA on June 17, 2008, 01:12:43 AM

extension of male

BOIOIOIINNNNNGGGGG!!!! Uh-huhuhuhuhuhuhhh

jägermonsta · « **Reply #31 on:** June 17, 2008, 05:33:02 AM »

Quote from: lidz on June 16, 2008, 01:56:52 PM

Only thing I can add here, being that I just ended a recent relationship, would be to ensure you are both on the same page regarding money. If she likes to spend and shop and shop and shop right now, it will only get worse. As typical as it sounds, money is the root of many relationship issues.

If you both are on the same page about how to live life, regarding money and saving the future. Then you will have a chance at a great life together. Which it sounds like you are on the way towards.

Good luck.

Good point.

Until I moved in with my girlfriend and she started to "help" pay the rent... I didn't realize how much money can drive you apart. Very frustrating to be in a situation where you were saving money and buying perks for yourself now you can barely get by because somebody doesn't hold their own weight through the financial agreements you've made together.

DWxchzrles · « **Reply #32 on:** June 17, 2008, 05:42:05 AM »

A friend of mine once told me that his wife told him that the money she earned was her money what he earned was there money

They are now divorced

More arguments over money than anything else

ReCycled · « **Reply #33 on:** June 17, 2008, 06:16:11 AM »

It's not always about money, but that's certainly an important chunk of a relationship. You have to manage your income as a couple - not 2 individuals. When I was married we had 2 decent incomes, a mortgage, couple of cars and some stuff. Nothing flamboyant in our lifestyle though. The bills were paid but savings never happened. After my separation I worried how I would be able to manage now that 40% of the pooled income was gone. After 6 months I was shocked to discover that not only were all the bills paid, but I had money left over. I began to have payroll deductions put into a retirement fund. Still things were fine. Clearly over all these years she had spent much more than I had. I went on to buy and sell a few properties, made a bit of money and found I could early retire. Funny how things work out.

I remain single.

jägermonsta · « **Reply #34 on:** June 17, 2008, 06:24:58 AM »

Quote from: ReCycled on June 17, 2008, 06:16:11 AM

It's not always about money.

Quote from: ReCycled on June 17, 2008, 06:16:11 AM

After my separation I worried how I would be able to manage now that 40% of the pooled income was gone. After 6 months I was shocked to discover that not only were all the bills paid, but I had money left over.

I don't know... just drives me nuts. I make more money now then I ever did in the past and yet I have nothing to show for it. Very stressful.

|iR|Focalor · « **Reply #35 on:** June 17, 2008, 06:31:05 AM »

Quote from: lidz on June 16, 2008, 08:51:48 PM

Isn't the womans rule that the ring must be worth atlest 3 months salary? Or was that what I was roped into????

Just tell her you're unemployed. Either she won't make big deal about spending less on a ring or she'll decide to not marry you. Either way, you're a winner.

Quote from: jägermonsta on June 17, 2008, 06:24:58 AM

I don't know... just drives me nuts. I make more money now then I ever did in the past and yet I have nothing to show for it. Very stressful.

LOL! BS! You know. Come over to the dark side, young Skywalker, and admit that women are the anti-money.

But honestly, I'm not a total chauvinist. I've been with ONE who understood the almighty importance of money... even the money that is MINE. Sadly, she was also an overbearing controlling bitch who hated all my friends, my taste in music, my style, etc. My advice: 9 times out of 10, people DON'T change. If you hear that voice in your head saying "I'm not happy, I should run.", it's probably a good idea to listen to it.

Jesus, I'm a fucking ray of sunshine, eh, Sigma!

jägermonsta · « **Reply #36 on:** June 17, 2008, 06:58:42 AM »

See my girl is great, all the same interests as me, fun to be around, very easy going. She just sucks horribly with money which in turn effects my pockets greatly.

lidz · « **Reply #37 on:** June 17, 2008, 07:11:15 AM »

That sounds so familiar. My ex girl was wonderful, but she lacked the concept of 'waiting' for things. If she saw something she liked, she had no concept of saving for it or shopping around. It was also the little things, like daily trips to Starbucks and constant lunches with the girls. Add that shit up and it is a house payment wasted each month on nothing.

My advice to you Jager, would be to really get that aspect under control or eventually it will end you guys. Well atleast that is what happened with me. No matter what means I tried, she still found ways to burn money. So I would get pissed then yell about stupid shit, then she would shop more, then I would yell more...became this circle of stupidity.

Now that we are not together, I make more than enough to pay the bills and have a ton of money left over each month. Just like recycled, I can now plan my future, without any worries of missing a car or house payment. Hell, I am actually able to now pay stuff off - weird concept I know.

Sit down with her and spell it out, it will only get worse - I lived it and didn't fix it soon enough. $:-\$

jägermonsta · « **Reply #38 on:** June 17, 2008, 07:47:29 AM »

Yeah exactly.

Granted she doesn't make very much being a toddler teacher and having a bachelors in psychology which is almost impossible to use, requiring you to earn at least a masters for a decent career. Drives over 250 miles a week to her job too...

But the spending is insane... it's all little things here and there. She doesn't understand the concept that $2 here $4 there adds up over a month.

I've had some good, civil conversations with her regarding it. She sees the problem and accepts it. Still I see her coming home with little bags from target or the dollar store filled with junk we'll never look at again from the day it came out of the bag. Dunkin donut ice coffee cups lined up in her car, new tanning bills coming in the mail... it's like what the hell. Where's your FULL half of the rent money?

Gotta figure something out or I need to double my salary again...

lidz · « **Reply #39 on:** June 17, 2008, 07:53:43 AM »

The salary increase will only be a temporary fix, some women tend to spend as the income permits. It is the gold fish anomaly - no matter how big a bowl you get, the gold fish grows to fit that size. In this case - they spend to match the income you have.

God the tanning bill, I remember when that started showing up at my house. Ohh the fights over that one lol.

DWxchzrles · « **Reply #40 on:** June 17, 2008, 08:22:30 AM »

Quote from: jägermonsta on June 17, 2008, 07:47:29 AM

Gotta figure something out or I need to double my salary again...

Sorry jägermonsta no matter how much money you make it will probably will not be enough money

Whirlingdervish · « **Reply #41 on:** June 17, 2008, 08:36:02 AM »

eventually there comes a time when a man must say:

"Go out in the goddam sun and sit there for a few minutes if you want a tan, and stop wasting our fucking money!"

It goes over a lot better if you follow that up with:

"when you come back from staying at your sister's house and badmouthing me, I'll have some new shoes for you"

reaper · « **Reply #42 on:** June 17, 2008, 08:40:23 AM »

you both gotta have your shirt together and be moving forward, or it's gonna be a long long road downhill. taking care of your finances is obviously a big part of that.

just life.

jägermonsta · « **Reply #43 on:** June 17, 2008, 08:49:12 AM »

Reaper don't try to explain life to me when you have little concept of it yourself.

I take care of my finances. If she doesn't throw down her full half, I make up for it. I have phenomenal credit for my age, I've been more then successfully providing for myself on my own for a long time now. My foot is pretty solid where I stand. There's no reason I'm not allowed to bitch about my gf spending too much without you coming here and saying "it's life" when you have no idea what I've accomplished or experienced in my life besides what I allow you to know.

[BTF]Zena · « **Reply #44 on:** June 17, 2008, 08:55:27 AM »

Congrats Sigma! =] I'm loving this thread

Author Topic: Marriage Thread. RUN!!!!! (Read 19750 times)

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