Marriage Thread. RUN!!!!!

[[BTF]Sigma]

So I got down on one knee on Friday, June 13th 2008 and she said yes.
I fall in love with her over and over every day.

So now that I'm engaged what comes next? I went to chapters and got a guide to being a Groom and I'd chuckling about the part where is says, "Now what did your Fiance do with the woman you love?"

Any of you women and men have any tips on getting the planning ball rolling? Can you warn me of any bumps in the road to the alter? Little tricks of the trade, so to speak.

I'm super excited!!! Sorry I haven't been around to frag.

Siggy.

[peewee_RotA]

3 things to warn you about, although it's the kind of thing everyone ends up screwing up anyway and learning themselves.

#1) Be 100% certain about how many kids she wants and you expect. This is a common thing both men and women would lie to their own wives, mothers, and grandparents to. Talk about it until you're tired of talking about it, then talk some more. Nothing puts stress on a marriage like wanting another kid and her saying no.

#2) Except finances. Finances put even more stress on it. Start a joint account long before you even think of setting the date. Find out who's responsible enough to keep track of them and who is not. She will expet you to even though she'll also lie to her mother, grandmother, and even God that it's "O.k., I can do it. Honest!". This needs to be talked about until you're blue in the face. It's not about sticking with eachother for richer or poorer. It's about one spouse driving both into the poorhouse and the pent up resentment that follows. Real arguments are always always always about money one way or another.

#3) A woman tries everything in her power to change a man and he never does. A man does everything in his power to keep his woman the same, and she always changes. You have been warned.

Other than that congradulations. 

[The Happy Friar]

Any of you women and men have any tips on getting the planning ball rolling? Can you warn me of any bumps in the road to the alter? Little tricks of the trade, so to speak.

DON'T WAIT!  Get marring in no more then 6 months.  That's a good amount of time to plan a wedding.  Set a date NOW.  Know how much you can spend NOW.

plus what peewee said.   

EDIT: Get it out of the way & both say "divorce is NOT AN OPTION."  makes things easier & you'll last longer when you know you're "stuck" together until one dies.  If you both feel divorce is an option then don't get married.  then it's like dating, you can quit at any time.  you're not going to be dating, you're going to be married.


EDIT2: You religious?

[ReCycled]

When I got married my bride-to-be wanted the big expensive wedding for at least 50----> 100 people (she had a lot of relatives). Me - a quicky at City Hall was fine for me. I, of course, bowed to her wishes. After a lot of planning, budgeting and hassle we had the usual wedding, reception and dinner. It was over 10 grand and easily could have been much higher.

8 years post-divorce if I did it again - for the same money - you can get a Caribbean wedding for around $700 (tux and wedding dress supplied) and use the rest to fly down 6--->10 people for an all-inclusive vacation week in the islands. Antigua and St Lucia come to mind. You get beautiful pictures, a nice honeymoon and your friends/family will love it.

Just an alternative.

Then, of course, there's learning about babies.....

[|iR|Focalor]

LMAO! I seem to remember my folks telling me a story about when my older sister was a baby, they gave her beer to... maybe alleviate diaper rash or something??? I can't really remember. Anyway, my dad fucked it up and gave her a whole damn bottle of beer and she was drunk. Between things like that... and my own bad behavior which would even make the pope say "GOD DAMMIT, WILL YOU FUCKIN' BEHAVE, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!"... it's a miracle I'm alive.

BEWARE OF CHILDREN! "The kingdom of God belongs to such as these..."... BULLSHIT! They're FROM HELL, EVERY ONE OF THEM! Wave your sanity goodbye.

[Pr0c3550r]

hmmm Lots of great advice here.


Here is some very basic stuff

June 15, 2008, 05:23:28 pm - [BTF]Sigma - She said YES!!! I'm engaged!!

June 15, 2008, 05:23:28 pm - [BTF]Sigma - She said YES!!! "We" are engaged!!


It is going to be " We " for ever. She will love you for it. 

[jägermonsta]

how long did you date her?

have you been living with her?

[hieronymous]

Does she play q2?   then "we" do have a problem



j/k     congratulations and keep the love there

the day i got married (the first time --haha) i made a promise to myself that I would always be the one who took that extra step --for example in arguments to give in first or just to not go there -- or to always be the first one who got up for the baby -- etc.     and i know that that is the reason i am still married    --- at all those moments that always popped into my head and i knew what i had to do even if i didn't want to


communication is the key to any relationship


oh and ask someone about the birds and the bees before the wedding night --unless its a same sex marriage then its best to be surprised 

since you wont be playing q2 anymore gl with the rest of your life you were always one of the funniest coolest dudes i've ever come to not really know

[The Happy Friar]

When I got married my bride-to-be wanted the big expensive wedding for at least 50----> 100 people (she had a lot of relatives). Me - a quicky at City Hall was fine for me. I, of course, bowed to her wishes. After a lot of planning, budgeting and hassle we had the usual wedding, reception and dinner. It was over 10 grand and easily could have been much higher.

that all depends on where you live.  My cousin is having a wedding with ~100 or so people & it will costs between $15-20.  In my area you can pull it off for ~$4-6k.

[[BTF]Sigma]

That's all really good advice. Loved the baby pics...lol

Been together since Nov 15 of 2006 and knew each other for 4 years previous.

We do live together and have since March of 2006. We have a joint savings account already and are opening one up just for the wedding. She thinks her parents are going to cover the whole shebang b/c that's what they did for her sister's wedding but we're on a plan to bank about 25-30K for our wedding around either late June or early July of next year.

Pr0cessor...lol yeah "We're engaged" hehehehe




EDIT.....so my dates are off, I was just corrected.

Nov 10th...and march 2007.     So it begins.

[The Happy Friar]

you can cook, right? 

EDIT: remember, it's YOUR (both of you) wedding.  Noone else's.  If you guys don't want something (or do want), then it's up to you.  Don't let others take charge.

For example...  if you guys like this on top of the cake, go for it!

[DaHanG]

congrats sigma

[quadz]

Sigma... "gl hf" ?    congrats!

For example...  if you guys like this on top of the cake, go for it!

Haha, nice

This was ours . . .

[jägermonsta]

how much did you drop for a ring

[X'tyfe]

im not an expert or have any kind of experience with marriage by any means
but i will say this... be very sure of what your getting yourself into

marriage is not the same as it was decades ago, many things have changed
i will never get married because of that, never