Author Topic: Happy Thanksgiving! (Read 6028 times)

|iR|Focalor · « **on:** November 28, 2013, 05:49:29 AM »

It's a pretty stupid holiday. But a lot of people get the day off, so... maybe it ain't so stupid that I'll bitch about it.... much.

Apparently, some 20 or so years ago, a bunch of people who wore nothing but catholic priest suits and sported blunderbusses got together with some pakistanis or indians or something and they all ate some Butterball deli turkey and Stove Top stuffing mix, so now the rest of us have the arduous task of reenacting that ritual once a year. Why? Who cares. You're fat, there's food, eat it, like it, and shut the hell up. In more recent years, we've added watching the Detroit Lions lose a football game to the yearly ritual. And in even more recent years, we've added the ritual of drinking ourselves retarded while watching our states capital city light their huge Christmas tree. And part of that tradition includes only getting about an hour or two of sleep that night before getting up and heading out to Walmart to camp out for several more hours by a pallet covered in plastic to buy a TV for 5 bucks cheaper than it normally would be.

And I think you'll agree, when you look at this wonderful holiday THAT way... it doesn't sound crazy or stupid or anything! Evolutions obviously made us so smart. God bless us, every one.

Anyway. Since this holiday is apparently sponsored by the Food Network, tell us what you wanna eat, will eat, or did eat for Thanksgiving. Or comment about something that happened during this Thanksgiving (or maybe another Thanksgiving). Like maybe your uncle got drunk again and drove the riding mower into the lake. Or your grandmother farted during the blessing.

As for me... usually I try to do the traditional thing, turkey, green bean cassarole, cranberry sauce, stuffing, dressing, mashed taters and brown gravy, butternut squash, etc. But this year... just not feeling it. Decided to make the biggest thickest fattest fuckin' lasagna you've ever seen in your life with enough mozzerella and ricota cheese to kill a horse. I've still got a few roma tomato plants in my greenhouse that are producing, so I've got a basket full of the fresh homegrown romas to use in it. Shit's gonna be ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, MUTHAFUCKA!

[420]HR · « **Reply #1 on:** November 28, 2013, 06:40:45 AM »

bah humbug

Sgt. Dick · « **Reply #2 on:** November 28, 2013, 07:05:08 AM »

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving

Don't gobble down to much. For 2dum and Golgo - I'm talking about Turkey

M1SERY · « **Reply #3 on:** November 28, 2013, 07:41:11 AM »

Good day to eat drink and play q2. lol Sarge

fdrjk · « **Reply #4 on:** November 28, 2013, 07:49:29 AM »

and i dont have to visit my family this year!

mir^mortal · « **Reply #5 on:** November 28, 2013, 05:58:50 PM »

Today even didn't have any turkey, just got drunk as fuck with my belorussian friends and shit, oh well I am an immigrant anyways, came to states in 1999 and shit, and don't celebrate the slaughter of turkeys, I STAY WITH INDIANS! RUSSIAN INDIANDS! USA WILL STAND DOWN AND WE WILL CAPTURE THAT SHIT! INDIANS - RUSSIANS!

|iR|Focalor · « **Reply #6 on:** November 29, 2013, 02:24:30 AM »

The Cold War is over, and free Pussy Riot, you wacko.

The Dreaming Dragon · « **Reply #7 on:** December 01, 2013, 07:33:34 PM »

William S. Burroughs - A Thanksgiving Prayer

<span data-s9e-mediaembed="youtube" style="display:inline-block;width:100%;max-width:640px"><span style="display:block;overflow:hidden;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%"><iframe allowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" style="background:url(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/sLSveRGmpIE/hqdefault.jpg) 50% 50% / cover;border:0;height:100%;left:0;position:absolute;width:100%" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sLSveRGmpIE"></iframe></span></span><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/sLSveRGmpIE" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/sLSveRGmpIE</a>

Whirlingdervish · « **Reply #8 on:** December 03, 2013, 11:28:39 AM »

I've been eating turkey for 5 days straight now. It's pizza time.

|iR|Focalor · « **Reply #9 on:** December 01, 2014, 11:53:32 AM »

I love the holidays. The good food. Decorating the chrimmustree.

|iR|Focalor · « **Reply #10 on:** November 26, 2015, 07:25:00 AM »

Happy happy happy happy happy happy turkey day from Bennigan's TO YOU!

|iR|Focalor · « **Reply #11 on:** November 26, 2015, 07:59:01 AM »

Cheer up, native american guy. At least it's not an NFL tradition for the REDSKINS to play on Thanksgiving. ...And probably lose worse than the Lions almost always do. Speaking of which...

quadz · « **Reply #12 on:** November 26, 2015, 08:52:32 AM »

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/thanksgiving

|iR|Focalor · « **Reply #13 on:** November 26, 2015, 01:00:52 PM »

Quote from: |iR|Focalor on November 26, 2015, 07:59:01 AM

The Lions... didn't lose? Yeah, they didn't play the Packers this year. Kinda figured they were gonna win. Didn't matter who Philadelphia brought out as their QB. Whether it was Sam Bradford or Mark Sanchez, they were doomed. God damn, I would've thought Chip Kelly would be smarter than to take a bum like Sam Bradford and even worse, Mark Sanchez. Buddy must be smoking the crack to think that was a smart move. Coach Kelly better start using his brain soon before even the college teams refuse to hire him back.

|iR|Focalor · « **Reply #14 on:** November 22, 2018, 02:45:47 AM »

Quote from: |iR|Focalor on November 28, 2013, 05:49:29 AM

Apparently, some 20 or so years ago, a bunch of people who wore nothing but catholic priest suits and sported blunderbusses got together with some pakistanis or indians or something and they all ate some Butterball deli turkey and Stove Top stuffing mix...

Oversimplification... obviously.

Ready for some knowledge?

Since white folks started showing up on the east coast, they sometimes celebrated what has now come to be known as Thanksgiving. It was never an official holiday with an official date, and not everyone observed it every year. It wasn't until 1863 in the middle of the Civil War when Union President Abraham Lincoln declared the last Thursday in November to be "Thanksgiving", a celebration of the Union victories in the war.

So OBVIOUSLY, we in the south didn't give a shit to celebrate Lincoln's success, nor did we really receive a weekly newsletter from the yankees telling us all the latest gossip in the north. But after the war, like many things, it was effectively shoved down the throats of southerners and now... WHOOP-TEE-DOO, WE GETS A HOLIDAY CELEBRATING THE ARMY IN THE WAR THAT KILLED OUR SONS. And while I'll typically shit all over Lincoln for being the stubborn asshole that refused to allow the south to have it's independence, at least he had the decency to veto the Wade-Davis bill before he got capped and shuffled off this mortal coil.

Fast forward about 80 years,...

It wasn't until a few weeks after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor that President Roosevelt changed the date to the FOURTH Thursday in November (not the LAST Thursday anymore).

Anyway...

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

And as always, fuck Lincoln.

(For more on why Abraham Lincoln was such a piece of shit, be sure to pick up a copy of "Lincoln Unmasked: What You're Not Supposed to Know About Dishonest Abe" by Thomas DiLorenzo.)

Author Topic: Happy Thanksgiving! (Read 6028 times)

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