Author Topic: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...  (Read 10541 times)

Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #15 on: May 10, 2013, 11:56:17 AM »
New name Paula dean  :yessign:

How to make Paula Deen pop-tarts:
1. Open package of Pop Tarts.
2. Pour in 5 tablespoons of melted butter.
3. Shake vigorously.
4. Serve with a side of more butter.
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Offline Shogun

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #16 on: May 10, 2013, 12:00:50 PM »
Focalor why do you have to dip your 2 sacks of devil eggs in every f****** thread? Your going 2DUM status!

Offline 2d

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #17 on: May 10, 2013, 12:01:50 PM »
I passed out right after this, I was mainly giving 2dum a hard time since he obviously didn't mention heavy cream until I said so, not to mention it took him several minutes to say the recipe in which he had even more obviously googled.

F A I L

O W N E D


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[14:05] <MoIOM|haunted> I challenged 2dum to a .....match.....
[14:06] <MoIOM|haunted> he beat me 4-3, although i blew myself up twice :>
[23:04] <[2d> i can now die in peace ROFL!

Offline 2d

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2013, 12:06:07 PM »
How to make Paula Deen pop-tarts:
1. whistle Dixie
2. bow down to 2dum
3.  Cheers!
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[14:05] <MoIOM|haunted> I challenged 2dum to a .....match.....
[14:06] <MoIOM|haunted> he beat me 4-3, although i blew myself up twice :>
[23:04] <[2d> i can now die in peace ROFL!

Offline haunted

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2013, 12:10:40 PM »
Go to italy or any decent restaurant(not Shony's), and the base of "classic alfredo" will be heavy cream and parm cheese.

[22:03] <[2d> classic alfredo
[22:03] <[2d> u dont even put cream
[22:03] <[2d> its just butter .cheese

^this is classic alfredo at the trailer park, a butter sauce(not a white sauce for true alfredo).

You failed, Paula. Keep letting your noodles "absorb" the butter/half and half, you're an excellent cook.

:stupid:
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Offline 2d

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #20 on: May 10, 2013, 12:54:08 PM »
Here you go haunted, wikipedia, new york times and the OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF THE ORIGINAL CREATOR YOU FUCKING WASTE OF HUMAN INTELLECT ROFL References for you

You just had to have me bring down the gauntlet down on you didnt you.

http://www.alfredoallascrofa.com/en/recipes-the-italian-art-of-cooking/first-course-fettuccine-alfredo-carbonara-amatriciana/346-fettuccine-alfredo

http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/13/recipe-of-the-day-pasta-with-butter-sage-and-parmesan/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fettuccine_Alfredo#cite_note-1


HOW CAN YOU JUDGE IT IF YOUVE NEVER TRIED IT SON?
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[14:05] <MoIOM|haunted> I challenged 2dum to a .....match.....
[14:06] <MoIOM|haunted> he beat me 4-3, although i blew myself up twice :>
[23:04] <[2d> i can now die in peace ROFL!

Offline haunted

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #21 on: May 10, 2013, 12:58:57 PM »
the fact that you're still persisting with it, while being dead wrong, just make you even look more dumb... but, Paula Dean would make it similarly, which is why you are now Paula.
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Offline 2d

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #22 on: May 10, 2013, 01:50:25 PM »
Golgo perhaps you can provide us with the correct logical fallacy from which haunted is currently suffering his mental illness.

"Im right despite being proven dead wrong, and i will always be correct at everything because I play tdm"

rofl
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[14:05] <MoIOM|haunted> I challenged 2dum to a .....match.....
[14:06] <MoIOM|haunted> he beat me 4-3, although i blew myself up twice :>
[23:04] <[2d> i can now die in peace ROFL!

Offline haunted

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #23 on: May 10, 2013, 02:14:21 PM »
Golgo is part italian I believe, I doubt he'd want to be wrong about this in opposition to myself, despite how tempting that offer may seem.

Authentic good cuisine from any nation involves enhancing flavor WITHOUT using things like butter. All you have to do is order a white sauce based entree from a truly nice restaurant or true authentic italian restaurant(i keep putting emphasis on true, because I really don't think you know the difference); it won't clog your arteries, it won't make you feel like shit, it'll taste excellent but not rich out the ass from the butter, and it also won't slide out your ass unsatisfactorily later.

Even if you prepare the white sauce traditionally, as in, without a roux or butter and/or highly minimal of either(it takes a bit of experience to do so), this dish is still not good for you at all. The fact that 2dum said he has made "butter and cheese" alfredo 20x in the past 3 months(once every 4 days.. I'm sure it lasts at least another day but maybe not) just means he has subtracted a year or two off his life in the process.

I mean, there's other things I could mention too aside from your stereotypical Paula Dean style cooking('Merica, butter), or the fact that you let your noodles absorb the sauce, lmfao.....you also didn't bake the garlic bulb to turn it into a pasty puree before adding it to the sauce, nor did you even do the second best thing by cracking the bulb to release the juice better alongside dicing it.

This is just sort of common sense cooking to me, and I feel sort of lucky in comparison to you googling this nonsense desperately trying to make a point.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2013, 02:34:42 PM by haunted »

Offline wallppen

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #24 on: May 10, 2013, 02:45:33 PM »
Haunted grows on me. ur cooking got RAPED son.  they clearly dont know shit about enhancing flavor without butter.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2013, 02:49:34 PM by fuck yo couch »
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Offline Sgt. Dick

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #25 on: May 10, 2013, 03:57:15 PM »
you fucking faggots (bundles of sticks) will argue about anything on here

+1
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aka IOU

Offline 2d

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #26 on: May 10, 2013, 03:58:58 PM »
I boil half a box of pasta, approximately 8 oz....and i have found with experimentation that 1/4 cup of HEAVY CREAM with 1/4 cup of HALF N HALF, and 1 table spoon of butter TASTES BEST FOR ME

Using 100% Heavy Cream makes the dish EXTREMELY HEAVY and puts you to sleep after eating due to all the fat


I am dealing with complete morons.
You do realize that half n half is lighter than heavy whipping cream? and that using a mixture is actually less fattening than using 100% heavy whipping cream?

the table spoon of butter that i put in has more to do with sauteing the garlic...

Haunted, there are no twists and turns you can try to pull off to evade from teh fact that you
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« Last Edit: May 10, 2013, 04:04:51 PM by 2d »
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[14:05] <MoIOM|haunted> I challenged 2dum to a .....match.....
[14:06] <MoIOM|haunted> he beat me 4-3, although i blew myself up twice :>
[23:04] <[2d> i can now die in peace ROFL!

Offline Whirlingdervish

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #27 on: May 10, 2013, 04:11:47 PM »
Funny I worked in an authentic Italian restaurant for a couple years right out of school and made alfredo by hand for each alfredo dish (reglar,chicken,seafood), one pan at a time.

I never used any butter to do so, nor did anyone ever let the noodles sit in the sauce.
The thickness of the sauce is due to parmesan content and a bit of starch added, not because you cooked down a shit ton of butter.

When you sautee minced garlic for an authentic italian sauce, you do so in olive oil, not butter.

When you make alfredo the key ingredient is in fact Cream, which is not the same thing as heavy whipping cream. note the adjectives before the word cream in the latter.

You also plate the noodles plain and then add the sauce right before it hits the window to retain the texture of the noodle and temperature of the sauce.
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Offline 2d

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #28 on: May 10, 2013, 04:20:26 PM »
When you make alfredo the key ingredient is in fact Cream, which is not the same thing as heavy whipping cream. note the adjectives before the word cream in the latter.

Elaborate dervish, i am desperately waiting to hear this one
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[14:05] <MoIOM|haunted> I challenged 2dum to a .....match.....
[14:06] <MoIOM|haunted> he beat me 4-3, although i blew myself up twice :>
[23:04] <[2d> i can now die in peace ROFL!

Offline haunted

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Re: 2D vs Haunted Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe...
« Reply #29 on: May 10, 2013, 04:38:15 PM »
Yep, the consistency of traditional alfredo is not made by cooking down butter, or even a roux(a starch like dervish suggested), but simply by reducing the heavy cream(a term 2dum still isn't familiar with, agreed, like I said), with parm cheese. Adding butter or a starch facilitates the process--and it's an easy call to make as with which you'd want to do. A 'butter sauce' v. doing it right then adding a roux for consistently are two entirely different situations.
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