A man owned a small farm in Australia

[Pr0c3550r]

A man owned a small farm in Australia  ...
 
The "Fair Work Australia Office" claimed he was not paying proper wages to

his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.  'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
 

"Well,' replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3

years.  I pay him $500 a week plus free room and board. He also gets triple time for

working on a Sunday and a case of beer for a Happy Hour every Friday"
 

'The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $400 per week plus free

room and board.  She doesn't work on Sundays and I provide paid satellite television for free

in her room.
 

'Then there's the half-wit.  He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.  He makes about $20 per week, pays  his own  room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
 

'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.

"That would be me, replied the farmer. yes, opps, missed that in the paste 

[WHO?]

close but a bit missing - the way I got that joke was like this:

A man owned a small farm in Indiana.

The Indiana State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help,
and sent a Department agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well," replied the farmer,
"there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit," says the agent.

"That would be me, replied the farmer.






an ironic but aplicable one for us here in oz:

A Somalian arrives in Sydney as a new immigrant to Australia
He stops the first  person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr.  Australian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps,  free medical care, and free education!"
The passerby says, "You  are mistaken, I am a New Zealander."
The  man goes on and encounters another passerby. " Thank you for having such beautiful country here in Australia!"
The person  says, "I not Australian, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says,  "Thank you for the wonderful Australia!"
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle  East,  I am not Australian!"
He finally sees a  nice lady and asks, "Are you an Australian?"
She says, "No, I am  from Africa!"
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Australians?"
The African lady checks her watch and says...."Probably at work."



& one for the fun of it since were onto oldies:

A bloke says to a lady "How old are your twins?"
The ladys ays "Well, my son is 8 and my daughter is 6 - what makes you think they are twins?"
Bloke says "Because you're two ugly to be fucked twice"