Perfect movie:

[peewee_RotA]

You know those movies that all of your artsy new-age wannabe friends like but you can't for the life of you understand how it could be funny, entertaining, or not cause anal bleeding.

Well I've got an idea for the next best one:
We start out with John Cusack on a quest to find himself despite an alcoholic father, a dwindling relationship, a newly adopted kid, and a run away airplane full of convicts. John's sister, cleverly played by Joan Cusack, offers him advice throughout his journey. Matthew Broderick inserts himself in John's life and strings John Cusack's character along for the ride as Broderick's life gets sabotaged by his boss, family, friends, and pet French giant lizard. Sexual tension provides comic relief as we find out that the French lizard is actually asexual, despite Cusack's advances using his boyish charm. The two find Jason Lee locked in a trunk, being held prisoner based on all of his misdeeds. Jason Lee never makes it out of the trunk, because with his voice acting, who can tell if it was recorded in a studio or some old trunk anyway?

Jeremy Piven shows up as the friend of Jason Lee trying to convince him to come out of the trunk. Piven's character is a smart and witty voice of reason, completely unfitting to his character. Ryan Reynolds shows up claiming to be Piven's long lost twin brother in an effort to con them out of some money. By the end of the film you find out that they are not actually twins because Reynolds freely admits not being a serious actor while Piven cannot.

It turns out that John Cusacks adopted son, Jimmy Played by Christian Slater, is really a video game pro at which point Fred, Kala, Ben, Randy, and Michael Savage reclaim the boy. John Cusack, Matthew Broderick, and newly found boy genius Val Kilmer all walk into the sunset with timeless classic hit "Don't You" playing in the background.

I'm willing to work in Howie Mandel, but only if he agrees never to "Act" again.

[jägermonsta]

I don't quite understand your movie but I'll chime in saying, I hate John Cusack.

Thanks.

[peewee_RotA]

I don't quite understand your movie but I'll chime in saying, I hate John Cusack.

Thanks.

Yeah that was just a long drawn out way of saying that I hate John Cusack too.