The Christmas 2017 thread

[|iR|Focalor]

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1015803-beef-rib-roast

Can only read that if you're logged into Facebook or Google while doing it.

Remember back when shit on the internet actually worked? And when EVERYTHING wasn't something cleverly disguised to be spyware?

Fuck you, internet. You changed, man.

[|iR|Focalor]

I just now, not even 5 minutes ago, finally got done completely taking all my Christmas decorations down.

Explanation? Yeah, probably needs one. See, I've had a great big pre-lit artificial 9 or 10 ft tree for the past... forever. But it's so big and heavy, and it always scrubs the sides of the studs in the back of the basement where I keep it, and it scrubs the front door frame where I bring it up from the basement. That's inevitably busted and tweaked a few bulbs to where sections all over the thing won't light up. Last year or the year before I spent probably 4 hours meticulously hunting down where the bad bulbs were and only got about 1 out of the 5 bad strands to light. So I ended up having to buy extra light strands and RElight those portions. This year, I said fuck it. I just went out and bought another SMALLER 7 foot pre-lit artificial, one that wouldn't be such a total bitch to drag up and down from the basement. Well the old ones been sitting there in the basement untouched since I put it back down there last January 1st. I was hoping I could GIVE it away to someone, but nobody wanted it. Goodwill wouldn't take it either. And I was pretty sure my trash company wouldn't accept it either, they're usually pretty strict about "ACHTUNG! EVERYZING MUST BE IN ZE BAGS BY DECREE OF ZE FUHRER!" But their office happens to be right at the end of my road, so I rode up there and asked in person if they'd take it. Much to my shock, they said yes. I was beginning to think I'd have to be one of those assholes to find a section of rarely used dirt road and toss it in the woods illegally like people do with old tires and appliances and shit sometimes.

So I finally drug the old tree out of the basement and tossed the new one down there along with the 40 different rubbermaid buckets of ornaments. So now maybe I won't have to hear my old lady bitching about how shitty it looks to have a xmas tree still up in the livingroom halfway to February. Just to piss her off, I'd turn the lights on whenever she left the room for 5 seconds.

So I plan on getting up early tomorrow to watch these poor bastards trying to wrestle this huge motherfucker into the back of their trash truck.