Ye Olde Christmas Thread

[DaHanG]

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

Was that really needed? 

Perhaps you would prefer:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others or their choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you
a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not
without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great. This is not to
imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the
only America in the Western Hemisphere.

These wishes are sent without regard to the race, creed, color, age,
physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference or orientation of
the recipient. By accepting these greetings you are agreeing to the
following terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting without the
express written permission of the issuer. It implies no promise by the
wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or
others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or
until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first. All warranties, either written or implied, are limited to
replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.

That was much better. 

lol