Limericks

[ReCycled]

There was a young man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
(said he) I have to admit
I'm a bit of a shit
But look at the money I save


There was a young man named Joe
Who had an affair with a crow
Said he with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
Never again....

 

[[BTF]MangyMutt]

There was a young man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
(said he) I have to admit
I'm a bit of a shit
But look at the money I save


There was a young man named Joe
Who had an affair with a crow
Said he with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
Never again....

 

lol Two sick ones in a row.....

[|iR|Focalor]

There once was a tiny girl in my vestibule
who wasn't quite a big as the rest of you
When she needed a ride
in my underwear she'd hide
and swing from the hair on my testicule

[Sgt. Dick]

There once was a man from nantucket   

[|iR|Focalor]

There once was a man from nantucket   

There once was a man from Nantucket
...finish the rest? FUCK IT!

[Sgt. Dick]

There once was a man from Nantucket
His E-penis was so long he could suck it

Is Krez from Nantucket ?

[m4$73r j14u]

I was at the duchess drinking tea
her rumblings abdominal
were something phenominal
and everybody thought it was me.

(something like that.. cant exactly remember)
(and i know it hasnt 5 lines!)

[[BTF]Sigma]

There was a young belle of old Natchez
  Whose garments were always in patchez.
  When comment arose
On the state of her clothes,
She drawled, When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez!

                                    Ogden Nash


A jolly young fellow from Yuma
Told an elephant joke to a puma;
  Now his skeleton lies
  Beneath hot western skies -
The puma had no sense of huma.
                                     Ogden Nash

I have yet to be as entertained by Mr. Nash's works than in any other fare.

[peewee_RotA]

There once was a man from McNass
With Balls made from fine brass
In stormy weather
His balls clanged together
And sparks flew out of his ass.

[DWxchzrles]

There was an Old Man with a flute,
A sarpint ran into his boot;
But he played day and night,
Till the sarpint took flight,
And avoided that man with a flute.

There was an Old Man of Vienna,
Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
When that did not agree,
He took Camomile Tea,
That nasty Old Man of Vienna.

Limericks by Edward Lear

[peewee_RotA]

He's Popeye the sailor man
He lives in a frying pan
He turned on the gas
and burned off his ass
He's popeye the Sailor man! (toot toot)

[|iR|Focalor]

He's Popeye the sailor man
He lives in a frying pan
He turned on the gas
and burned off his ass
He's popeye the Sailor man! (toot toot)

Hehe, I remember that one from elementary school, only it was a bit different.

He's Popeye the sailor man
He lives in a garbage can
He turned on the heater
and burnt off his peter
He's popeye the sailor man

There was another one kids used to recite but I can only remember the first 2 lines of it.

Under the cherry tree
guess what she showed to me

Wow, how childish, LOL! And to think... Andrew "Dice" Clay would sell out huge arenas because of stupid shit like that.

[peewee_RotA]

I once had a friend who played magic
Things that he'd say were quite tragic
And anytime he'd see
A green field or a tree
He'd always say "Oh yeah, I'd tap that!"


O.k. so it doesn't rhyme, but i've been looking for somewhere to use that one.

[ReCycled]

***

[DWxchzrles]

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were caught, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee."
"Let us fly," said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

 Anonymous