Poetry

[Krlll Mule]

Banes, writing helped save my life and kept me company when I was a young man living through turbulent times. I wrote about six notebooks worth of stuff over a period of several years. Alot of it is crap technically......just a release for what I was going through. I used to write something almost everyday....even if I was forcing it and sometimes a gem came out (IMO anyway . As I have grown older I have written less and less because I'm so busy being a husband and father and I am content. My creative release has become music oriented. I'll dig some stuff out and post it - for what it's worth. I encourage you to keep writing.

[Moving Shadow]

Agoraphobic Winter

We tried to keep warm
In the firefights.
The sky was dropping bombs for tears through the nights.
We'd though we'd never make it out alive.

Beyond the walls of our tiny apartment
rose the decay of ten million lies.
Each one was a whisper of what was to come,
and an echo of what was left behind.

I held you close those nights, under the blankets.
Every night, the only thing between us was a visceral layer of sweat.
I'm surprised you never slipped off the bed. 
I guess it was 'cause you were clinging to me so tight.

When the March sun finally rose,
and all the soot in the streets melted away,
There was no holding you back,
from the wind leading you astray.

To tell you the truth, I can't remember much else of that spring.
My self medicated amnesia prevents me from remember a thing.

Just wanted to let you know
I still have the blankets.

[LaMont=GSN=]

I really like that Shadow!  You've inspired me to add another...

Scarification

What was in you
and what I thought was there
only appeared close and deep
like the finest faux painting
on the cheapest canvas


You made me feel wonder
the parched desert of day morphs to nighttime treasure
thrust from the earth into the vast cosmos
so I ran to fetch a star for you
but in the flash and glitter
I should have caught a cloud instead
I danced in the riot of the stars
to spliced super-8 memories of winter sunshine

wracked flesh softened and healed
and swelled with new strength.
My strength.
The armor of sophistication fell away
Comfortable structured complications set aside
the simple man came forth to tell all.
Drink deep of life and live!

But I met a shadow of the material world
who wanted to know what could be had
not what could be made
Defenses were down

after all, it was you.

the blurred neon is slow
returning to stark focus
and there are new wounds
which will gnarl and harden
to turn away soft touches with hidden razors
an icy crust over pure snow
brittle feelings bear my weight

but for spots




LaMont

[Moving Shadow]

really good man.

I'll post some more later..

[banes]

Wild Life

Every road sign passing by shined brightly from our head
Lights, marking the last bastions of civilization,
As we crossed into the depths of wilderness.

Crawling up around the contours of the mountain,
I knew something was not quite right.  My chauffer
Envisioned veering off the dusty road into some lovely pines,
Some distance down the side of the colossus.

Colossus I say, because as we rode further into that pagan
Land, I acknowledged that the mountain had a life of its
Own.  In the dust kicked up from the wheels of passenger
Vehicles, the boney spine protruded down the center of the road.

Anxiously, I told my driver that the mountain was not dead,
But she refused to hear it.  The desire to drive off into Elysian
Fields was strong, and god-forbid that driving on the mountain

[M^tster]

Heres one I wrote to my X-gf whom didnt deserve it.

My everything-
 
You are my future, you are my past.
You are my everything.
You were my first, you were my last.
You are my everything.
You are my love, you are my life.
You are my everything.


 She was my first sexual experience,  then I met here again 15 yrs later and we hooked up again.Plus I was going to move there to another state to be with her even though Id be leaving all my friends.
I have more poems, just not ready to splay myself in front of you all for criticizem...damn my spelling!

[M^tster]

Hmm no comments eh?   

[banes]

you need more imagery, i cant see, hear, taste, smell, feel anything that you are talking about

[M^tster]

Hmm I think my poetry is used to help me understand myself more and not to be for everyone to understand unless they have been there.So I understand what your saying.When I write a poem for the masses I will keep that in mind.

[M^tster]

Heres another maybe Ill only understand-

 Sweetness-
So many bad things,
So many bad roads,
So where did you get those wings, how did you keep your soul.
So beautiful inside and out, I'd hate to see you cry, or even pout.

 

[banes]

too much abstraction, too many abstract words, i cant see BEAUTIFUL, nor can i see BAD THINGS, i can see a girl's lock curled around her finger, and i can also see that same girl walking down a narrow street late at night, see how much difference detail can make? i basically described the same things you did, i just put an image to them, the mind works better in images than intellectual language, what abstraction is

[M^tster]

Well I like being abstact, that means everyone can use it in there own mind to apply the poem to whatever they feel the need to.The minds eye and not the vision in your mind of the world around you is what I like to stimulate.And all my poems are is feelings not a vision of a situation.     

[banes]

well you have to understand, people can draw from their own interpretations from imagery alone, the work of a good writer is to show you rather than to tell you, the minds eye will percieve the vision that is the poem, but then it becomes your intellectual faculties that decipher the meaning behind the images, youre supposed to get feelings FROM images, not from abstractions, it is true, the word SAD is a feeling, but merely writing that down on a page does not convey sadness, it merely tells it

[Moving Shadow]

Poetry is Poetry is Poetry is Poetry.

I like the first one because it is a one sided conversation that falls on deaf ears.  Both are letters, than poems that use imagery, diction and all that other stuff to convey their meanings.  They are straight-forward and to the point.

I don't think you have to "dress up" in order to "go out"

[banes]

could you elaborate your point a little more, i not quite sure what youre saying moving shadow