Author Topic: JOKES (Read 141142 times)

Daemia · « **on:** December 07, 2006, 09:34:20 AM »

Q: Why do women get Yeast Infectons?
A: So they know what it's like to have to live with an irritated cunt!

Q: Why don't women fart?
A: They don't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up enough pressure.

"One day I'll add some 'men' jokes, but since the majority here is guys... I'll go with the flow"

jägermonsta · « **Reply #1 on:** December 07, 2006, 09:59:40 AM »

Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!

Oh women...

[BTF]Jehar · « **Reply #2 on:** December 07, 2006, 10:18:24 AM »

A man walks into a bar. Christopher Reeves doesn't.

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?
Christopher Reeves during a house fire.

randypants · « **Reply #3 on:** December 07, 2006, 12:42:24 PM »

These jokes are lamer than FDR's legs? What?! Too Soon?!

metaL · « **Reply #4 on:** December 07, 2006, 03:57:16 PM »

[quote author=j

vibes · « **Reply #5 on:** December 07, 2006, 04:01:05 PM »

500 Jokes and Humor

http://modmod.proboards76.com/index.cgi?board=jokes

DWxchzrles · « **Reply #6 on:** December 07, 2006, 06:29:57 PM »

{TNP}Dukie · « **Reply #7 on:** December 07, 2006, 06:48:18 PM »

Tis joke is old and I first heard it in the "The Cow and Penguin Corner" thread. (Which is a great thread)

This joke has become my favoritist joke all all time and I have to give credit to Maxmoo.

CREDIT! I'm giving it to joo mang!

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "It's just ice cream."

metaL · « **Reply #8 on:** December 07, 2006, 07:48:22 PM »

i just said "that is NOT funny" while laughing aloud.

ReCycled · « **Reply #9 on:** December 08, 2006, 07:52:11 AM »

Three women in an office building are going out for lunch and take the elevator down to the lobby. On the way down they spot a small pool of whitish fluid on the floor. The brunette says " Oh my god - is that what I think it is?" As they walk through the lobby they see a bit more of the thick white liquid. The other brunette says " Thats disgusting. You should be doing that in private. Some people have no class". The blonde kneels down and dips her finger in it to taste it and says " Well -

jägermonsta · « **Reply #10 on:** December 08, 2006, 08:10:58 AM »

I love naked chicks like everyone else here but hell... I look at this forum at work. Can we re-frame from posting non work friendly photos or at least place a warning... thanks!

Daemia · « **Reply #11 on:** January 07, 2007, 11:50:16 PM »

Quote from: Daemia on December 07, 2006, 09:34:20 AM

Q: Why do women get Yeast Infectons?
A: So they know what it's like to have to live with an irritated cunt!

Q: Why don't women fart?
A: They don't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up enough pressure.

"One day I'll add some 'men' jokes, but since the majority here is guys... I'll go with the flow"

myamagical · « **Reply #12 on:** January 08, 2007, 03:46:02 AM »

Quest · « **Reply #13 on:** January 08, 2007, 12:14:52 PM »

A woman walking along the beach finds a bottle.
She rubs the bottle and a genie appears.
The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth.
I'm a one-wish genie. So ... what'll it be?"
The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this
map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to
love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at
war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.
I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and
please be reasonable."
The woman thought for a minute and said,
"Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun,
likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family,
doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for..........
a good man."

The genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map again."

Daemia · « **Reply #14 on:** January 08, 2007, 01:07:50 PM »

Author Topic: JOKES (Read 141142 times)

vibes

myamagical

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