Author Topic: JOKES  (Read 74914 times)

Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #315 on: June 23, 2018, 04:33:24 PM »
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Offline Sgt. Dick

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #316 on: June 24, 2018, 05:44:54 AM »
 :yessign:- Smart man
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Offline quadz

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #317 on: June 24, 2018, 11:34:40 AM »
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"He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious."

Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #318 on: June 24, 2018, 10:15:52 PM »
I'd say he's fucking pretty fucking retarded himself just for being a pastor, but he's only half as retarded as the other 17 retards sitting in front of him.
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Offline Sgt. Dick

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #319 on: June 25, 2018, 07:26:30 PM »
I guess this is me -  :dohdohdoh: :smiley_abin: :Duhard:
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #320 on: June 29, 2018, 08:04:34 PM »
How do you make a gay fuck a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #321 on: August 18, 2018, 09:44:30 AM »

Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #322 on: November 15, 2018, 12:15:51 PM »
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #323 on: October 07, 2019, 09:58:40 AM »
A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"
He nodded his head and said, “Yes ma’am,” and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"
The farmer said, "Yes." and another tear came from the other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"
He again said, “Yes,” and broke down crying.
She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"
Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soybeans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think I’m gonna get fucked out of my peaches."
« Last Edit: July 10, 2020, 04:57:26 PM by |iR|Focalor »
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #324 on: November 29, 2019, 12:50:07 AM »
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?

We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #325 on: December 05, 2019, 02:39:39 AM »
She said, "I want a man to use 2 fingers and make me scream."

So I poked her in the eyes.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #326 on: July 10, 2020, 05:03:44 PM »
Teacher: Billy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?

Billy: None, the others would fly away.

Teacher: The answer is 4, but I like the way you think.

Billy: I have a question for you Miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 licking, 1 biting, and 1 sucking. Which one is married?

Teacher nervously answers: The one sucking.

Billy: The answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: JOKES
« Reply #327 on: July 17, 2020, 01:11:29 AM »
"Hello? Is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report on my neighbor. He's in an motorcycle gang and he's hiding marijuana inside his firewood"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descended on the house. They searched the shed where the firewood was kept. Using axes, they busted open every piece of wood, but found no marijuana. They sneered at the biker as they left.

A few minutes later, the bikers phone rang. A voice on the other end said..."Hey, Brother. Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah, they sure did Brother!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Sure did."

"Happy Birthday BROTHER!"
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August 09, 2020, 12:01:58 PM
Jehar's ts500 tastycast stream:


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Starts 36 minutes in.
 

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NoBugsOnMe

August 03, 2020, 11:10:39 PM

Punk_FAS

August 03, 2020, 11:58:12 AM
Nice. I didn't know there was such a thread. Thanks :)
 

quadz

August 03, 2020, 11:37:31 AM
Shoutbox isn't the place for rehashing this. Here's the thread about DM server spawn farthest from 2006/2007:

http://forum.tastyspleen.net/quake/index.php?topic=2932.0

Punk_FAS

August 03, 2020, 11:21:37 AM
but that's *NOT what the DM server is supposed to cater to

Punk_FAS

August 03, 2020, 11:21:09 AM
It's not ideal for 1v1 situations, but that's what the DM server is supposed to cater to. Also, there are 7 other maps besides DM4 (actually 8 for the automatic mymap map between dm8 and dm1). I think there are more positives than negatives.

Punk_FAS

August 03, 2020, 11:20:06 AM
It happens to better players too. I know I've been in first, or second place, only to die and spawn right next to the other leading player multiple times in a row, and having to dodge rockets in a narrow corridor without any weapons myself (other than blaster).

It's not the best for 1v1 situation

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