Clemency for the banned?

[Sgt. Dick]

Despite his history here, I doubt anybody wanted news of his demise to be true. Hopefully he is happy and living a good life.

[ex]

Can I say one thing please?  Please?

Please...?
























Fuck everybody

[|iR|Focalor]

Fuck everybody

Who do I look like, your mom?

[XANA]

i remember the Argentinian girl that got banned a long time ago. she played xatrix right.

I was chatting with a couple of my friends the other day and we got on the topic of this game, and I thought of Laura again. When I started to tell them the story of Spawn Girl, we began to realize just how tragic that it was in the grand scheme of things.

I feel like you could write an entire book on Laura and everything she went through here. It'd be a really compelling story on social media and online toxicity and it's role in mental illness.

Laura frequently suffered from psychosis and frightening hallucinations. She would very often, if not constantly, misinterpret normal everyday messages and signs as personal attacks against her. She was simply reacting against these frightening hallucinations in the same way anyone would, by defending herself.

She was someone who just wanted to combine two of her favorite pieces of media from her childhood and share it with the world; survival horror and Quake 2.

And she did it. People liked it, a lot. There were some people who didn't like it, though. Some people didn't like her, either. There were definitely people that said some hurtful things to her in the beginning, for sure. This was where the psychosis started. Over time, the line between positive feedback and personal attacks became blurred to her.

Once she started defending herself against these hallucinations, she would create public spectacles. Which fueled more people to join in and watch it. Which made the psychosis worse. It was a cycle. I was unfortunately one of those people.

She gave us all so much information about herself. Her full name, her face, her family, her Facebook, everything. Deep down, she really did just want people to accept her. To everyone else though, it was just ammo.

She had real life friends as well, but there's no way they could understand what she was going through. I don't know what happened in her personal life that lead her to that mental state. We can only guess; either way, it's none of our business.

In 2011/2012, her father unfortunately passed away. Watching her own father slowly wither away only fueled her psychosis even further. She started making legal threats and posting psychotic fantasies online about killing the people who she had seen as having done her wrong. Just another spectacle.

Sometimes I wonder why she was allowed to create these spectacles as long as she did when she was clearly suffering from a mental illness. Quadz frequently tried to empathize with Laura and make her feel better, but continued to give her and everyone else a platform to publicly watch her mind spiral out of control. I still don't know how to feel about this.

What else could we have done to help her?

I don't know. It's in the past now. A lot of that history is now lost with quadz' passing.

Maybe in the future, I can do a better job at handling these kinds of situations. Maybe we all could.

I don't care to know too much about what Laura is doing, or even really talk to her again.

But I do hope her mind is in a better place now.

[0rbisson]

i am pretty sure laura is still around aliased.

[|iR|Focalor]

I don't know. It's in the past now. A lot of that history is now lost with quadz' passing.

Nope. It's still here with several of us who remember, despite your lurid attempts to revise history.

You know it, I know it, we ALL know it, this messageboard is one of the most easy-going messageboards on the entire web. It takes more to get tossed outta here than just about any other board on the web. She's gone, she's deserved it, everyone is better off for it, end of story. Thanks for digging it back up though.

Mental illness sucks. It happens to lots of people, but our society as a collective of individuals (not just a collective, period) has the right to continue functioning normally towards the pursuits of each individual without being hindered by a malfunctioning abnormal minority. We have multi-lane freeways, but if a mentally ill person is afraid of cars, do we all think it's best to sympathize with that mentally ill person and tear out the freeways in favor of walking everywhere? Fuck that.

Mental illness is a fact of life. You can wring your hands about it and point your fingers at others for not doing enough to fix it... like someone who is more concerned about virtue signalling than addressing the problem... or you can quietly and humbly address the problem itself without all of this dramatic showmanship.

Then again,... maybe we'd have more money for mental illness and such social problems if so many people weren't grifting the social programs like when they refused to work after covid, don'tcha think?

[Costigan_Q2]

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[|iR|Focalor]

Spawn Girl

I have a much simpler perspective on this subject, it's born from seeing the same pattern occur many times.

1. A creative, positive and hopeful person works long and hard on their dream project/job over many years.
2. A miserable bunch of jealous, spiteful subhuman degenerates work to destroy that dream over as many years.
3. Eventually the degenerates let their jealously get the better of them and then they plot to steal said dream.
4. The degenerates steal said dream, someone in charge ratifies the theft and then absolute fucking chaos ensues.
5. The degenerates lie endlessly about the theft and then go on to mismanage and/or destroy what they stole.
6. The creative, positive and hopeful person ends up utterly deprived of ANY justice and then slowly goes insane.

This is the story of Spawngirl, this is the story of Beaver, this is the story of a LOT of people.

In case no one has figured it out yet there was a damn good reason that I was the ONLY person who backed Beaver in EVERYTHING he did, NO MATTER WHAT. for the past ten years.


The same thing happened to me once, in a different community, in a different time.

I responded QUITE differently though - i STOLE everything (my stuff back AND their stuff) and held it to ransom in return for a full (their words ONLY) admission of the truth of what they had done which, naturally, they were only able to TRULY fathom once they were confronted with the powerlessness i inflicted on them.

There are few things SWEETER than watching someone who is used to having power and thinking they are right just BEGGING for mercy.

Once i had a full admission of the truth and had broken their false reputations i destroyed ALL of it, my work and theirs, and then i left!

Yes, there was cold hard evidence presented, not just their words, to prove my position and disprove their positions.


Does everyone understand why i am THE most UNBANNED person in this community now? i often see this shit coming and avoid it.


This forum has been dying from multiple 'chill effect' sources for a LONG time.

100% horse shit.

[XANA]

1. A creative, positive and hopeful person works long and hard on their dream project/job over many years.
2. A miserable bunch of jealous, spiteful subhuman degenerates work to destroy that dream over as many years.
3. Eventually the degenerates let their jealously get the better of them and then they plot to steal said dream.
4. The degenerates steal said dream, someone in charge ratifies the theft and then absolute fucking chaos ensues.
5. The degenerates lie endlessly about the theft and then go on to mismanage and/or destroy what they stole.
6. The creative, positive and hopeful person ends up utterly deprived of ANY justice and then slowly goes insane.

I remember creating overrides with Zeppelin well over 13 years ago and using Laura's work as a blueprint. They sucked at first, but I got good enough at making them to finally understand how to twist the atmosphere of a map by editing the entities. She never had any praises for my work, she would always call it trash and lame and way worse than her own work.

But I never let it get to me. I thought it was funny. Because I knew I enjoyed making them and I liked how they came out, and everyone else did too. I was secure in my own work. I didn't care about having a portfolio or realizing some lofty dream, I just wanted people to have fun with what I made. It wasn't that big of a deal.

This quoted narrative appears to be a shared hallucination from Laura's head. She wasn't able to properly cope with her critics and the hallucinations spawned by her psychosis. Even with all of the praise in the world, it was only a matter of time before her delusions caught up with her.

What she needed was something she was never going to get from anyone here. Not praise or accolades or anything like that, she needed something else. I can't speak for what exactly that may have been, because I didn't know her.

There may be people who want to bring you down, of course. But it's going to be okay if you understand yourself, just live and let live.

If you want to know more details about what happened, feel free to DM me.

[Costigan_Q2]

If this entire thread was completely nuked i think we'd all be much happier.

[z00medho]

FFA and TDM...its both quake 2 but...one is swimming pool, another one is ocean. On FFA you are getting hates for being good or too good , on TDM you getting hates for beeing bad. ON FFA they call you cheat, on TDM they call you n00b. And by "they" I mean all those whose mind is not at ease with just playing the game. Only those with partial or little understanding create wars, those with complete understanding tend to let go and ultimately disappear.

I am all for using cheats in fight...as long as it is real war situation. In game...its utter stupidity to use it; would take away all the fun and need for challenge. However for some players, q2 seems to be a real war situation...blaming, hating, accusing...very sad but true.

Few beers and I need to scratch ...

These six points brought here by Costigan, are as true as sad.

Now of course truth does not have to be sad...absorbing more truth into life will result in great paradigm shift...as soon as one can go beyond mind and its stories. Yet staying on top of the mind is not as simple as might seem...it takes long practice.  Freedom is from inner and outer. Its always easy to write this...especially after few beerz.

I myself love strong players...you actually learn from them! XANA I had maybe two games with and I utterly enjoyed being smashed all over dm1 the edge, despite my many years of everyday practice

[|iR|Focalor]

These six points brought here by Costigan, are as true as sad.

True? No, not true.

Let me speak some unfiltered truth to the class. Any admins or community members who disagree with me, feel free to critique or debate this assessment if you disagree with any part of it in the slightest.

Costigan chooses to live in an alternative reality where he isn't responsible for anything. He hates the administration personnel, and has harassed and cussed out many of them in repeated lengthy private messages on discord. Sure, that's old shit that happened many months ago, and so in his mind (the alternative reality I mentioned), it isn't worth considering, and even if you did, he was mad at the time and any emotion he feels like expressing at any time is completely valid because he is Costigan, and Costigan does no wrong. The admins naturally disagree with his warped view of reality and of course naturally believe that EVERYONE is responsible for their own actions, and have held him accountable for those actions on numerous occasions. He disagrees with that policy as it contradicts his reality and calls into question his worldview. He responds by campaigning against them with dramatic disapproval for every action they take, as evidenced in this thread.

No. I'm not going to sit here and say nothing while a malignant crew of you attempt to re-write history. I liken claims that this community has systematically victimized certain people to similarly preposterous claims that this country is "institutionally racist". BULLSHIT. Show me. Just as I've lived in this country long enough to see plenty of evidence that institutional racism is illegal, non-existent, and countered with "institutional equity", I've been in this community long enough to see how unbiased and largely "hands off" the administration tends to be, and how they have no motives or agenda other than keeping the games fair and cheat-free, and keeping the boards semi-civil.

The fact that this level of bullshit dissemination is allowed to be posted is proof of how hands-off they are.

Feel free to be wrong. You have that right in Tastyspleen. But know that... you ARE wrong.

[Costigan_Q2]

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[|iR|Focalor]

Was any of that supposed to prove a point against anything I said? You mistake this for a petty attempt to troll you. No, I don't care about trolling you, just setting the record straight when you attempt to misinform people. If I wanted to troll you... I'd make fun of you saying things like ...

deigned to bother to lower myself to your level to directly address

... but alas, I wouldn't bother to deign to stoop to bow to denigrate myself to do a thing like that.

Go ahead and give out whatever you wanna. You ain't gonna hold that over me. I don't care. Play your little games. Keep proving who you are.

[Costigan_Q2]

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