Author Topic: One Liners when Answering the Phone  (Read 14831 times)

Offline peewee_RotA

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One Liners when Answering the Phone
« on: March 09, 2012, 09:35:56 AM »
Got any one liners when answering the phone?

My favorites have been:

City Morgue: You stab em' we slab em'
and
Warranties: You break em' we fake em'
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2012, 10:14:54 AM »
If I see on the caller ID that it's some telemarketer, before they can get a word out of their mouths I'll usually start by LOUDLY proclaiming in my best Andrew Dice Clay impression something like "Hi, how would YOU like to refinance your home mortgage at the un-fucking-believably low rate of 72% with Fuckerton and Sons City Bank!?!"

This one works too.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWWIg2FQ6Jw
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Offline haunted

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2012, 10:46:13 AM »
my favorite way to answer a phone is...

"Dominos?" in a foreign accent.
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Offline peewee_RotA

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2012, 11:29:33 AM »
my favorite way to answer a phone is...

"Dominos?" in a foreign accent.

I had a friend who owned a couple dominos stores. He had a special line that he always answered "Batcave, batman speaking"

To bring this full circle... the store was bought out by an Indian fellow who had a bunch of other franchise stores. So I'm used to hearing "Dominos" in a foreign accent.
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Offline |iR|Focalor

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2012, 12:51:17 PM »
Indian fellow ... I'm used to hearing "Dominos" in a foreign accent.

This is the United States of America. You're used to hearing EVERYTHING in a foreign accent these days.  :lolsign:
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Offline [BTF]Sigma

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2012, 02:30:06 PM »
The Roadkill Cafe, you kill it we grill it!
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Offline peewee_RotA

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2012, 04:43:40 PM »
 :lolsign:
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Offline [BTF] Reflex

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2012, 09:17:52 AM »
AOL,   We lag 'em you frag 'em.
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Offline [BTF]Sigma

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2012, 12:16:24 PM »
Pete's Abortion Clinic and Pizzaria.

Your loss is our sauce.
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Offline The Happy Friar

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2012, 01:39:08 PM »
I had Leisure Suit Larry be my answering machine from 1998 until my house burned down in '07.  :)
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Offline Sgt. Dick

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #10 on: June 29, 2012, 08:31:39 PM »
I sometimes answer as our local police station, they almost always hangup.  :lolsign:
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aka IOU

Offline fdrjk

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2012, 08:47:34 PM »
Welcome to the IRS. Time is money, and when I say that, I mean yours.
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Offline playboy

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2012, 10:36:04 AM »
Haunted's Plumbing, were #1 in the #2 business
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Offline [BTF] Reflex

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2012, 08:35:51 PM »
Ah!   :!:
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Offline peewee_RotA

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Re: One Liners when Answering the Phone
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2012, 05:54:56 AM »
This is sort of the opposite, but I've done it before:

Phone Message: “Please call me ASAP”
*hangs up phone and dials*
*phone rings*
Phil: “Hello?”
Me: “You’re a sap!”
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