Oh those wacky Nigerians!

[QwazyWabbit]

Forced to resign from Merrill Lynch during the merger with BofA, John Thain is now chairman and CEO of CIT Group with a $6million salary. CIT is currently the most troubled firm on Wall Street.

[The Dreaming Dragon]

Our latest exhibit perports to be from the FBI,again. They Must be important because they use all C-A-P-S! And *I* must be important too because the "regional director" is personally shouting this at me.And there is no address or e-mail for me to do what he asks,so I guess I'd have to do the research in my spam folder for this scam to work. A dropped ball IMHO...

FROM: AGENT JOHN EDWARD’S OFFICE
REGIONAL DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
INTELLIGENCE FIELD UNIT
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, DC
20535-0001, USA
URGENT ATTENTION
I AM SPECIAL AGENT JOHN EDWARD FROM THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) INTELLIGENCE UNIT. WE HAVE JUST INTERCEPTED AND CONFISCATED TWO (2) TRUNK BOXES AT JFK AIRPORT IN NEW YORK, AND ARE ON THE VERGE OF MOVING IT TO OUR BUREAU HEAD QUARTERS.
WE HAVE SCANNED THE SAID BOXES, AND HAVE FOUND IT TO CONTAIN A TOTAL SUM OF USD4.1M AND ALSO BACKUP DOCUMENT WHICH BEARS YOUR NAME AS THE RECEIVER OF THE MONEY CONTAINED IN THE BOXES. INVESTIGATIONS CARRIED OUT ON THE DIPLOMAT WHICH ACCOMPANIED THE BOXES INTO THE UNITED STATES HAS IT THAT HE WAS TO DELIVER THIS FUNDS TO YOUR RESIDENCE AS YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT WHICH WAS DUE YOU FROM THE OFFICE OF FINANCE MINSTER OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA.
WE CROSS-CHECKED ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTATION IN THE BOXES, AND WERE ABOUT TO RELEASE THE CONSIGNMENT TO THE DIPLOMAT, WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT THE BOXES IS LACKING ONE VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENTATION WHICH AS A RESULT, THE BOXES HAVE BEEN CONFISCATED UNTIL THE REQUIRED DOCUMENT IS PROVIDED.
ACCORDING TO SECTION 229 SUBSECTION 31 OF THE 1991 CONSTITUTION ON RELEASE OF UNCLAIMED CONSIGNMENT PAYMENT, YOUR CONSIGNMENT LACKS FUNDS OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND FOR THAT REASON YOU MUST CONTACT ME FOR DIRECTION ON HOW TO PROCURE THIS CERTIFICATE, SO THAT YOUR CONSIGNMENT CAN BE LEGALLY CLEARED AND OKAY FOR DELIVERY TO YOU.
YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CONTACT THIS BUREAU WITHIN 72HOURS OR WE WOULD TAKE IT THAT YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR CONSIGNMENT, AND WOULD MOVE IT TO THE TREASURY
ALSO, YOU MUST NOT CONTACT ANY OTHER BANK FOR ANY PAYMENT, BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT IS HERE IN CARE OF OUR STORAGE VAULT TEAM AND WILL BE RELEASED TO YOU ONCE YOU FOLLOW MY DIRECTIONS.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
YOURS IN SERVICE
AGENT JOHN EDWARD
REGIONAL DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
INTELLIGENCE FIELD UNIT
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, DC.
20535-0001, USA

[|iR|Focalor]

All these people in Nigeria always giving away huge sums of money to unsuspecting Americans... no wonder those motherfuckers live in squalor.

[soh]

I got one of those like last semester. I remember always getting these when I was a Senior in High School. Used to laugh it off. Now, it just looks too dumb. I can't believe the people that actually fall for this crap.

???

[yahoo]

From the desk of Mr.Sam Osierr
Union Bank of Nigeria Plc
Email: accountantsamosi@deepfistings.com 

Dear Friend,   

I Am Mr.sam osierr the direactor in Charge Of Auditing and Accounting Section of (Union Bank Of Nigeria Plc) with due respect  and regard, I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will benefit the both of us at the end of the  transaction. In order to transfer out the sum of (US$10 Million) Ten Million United State Dollars) from one of the leading  banks in Nigeria Union Bank Of Nigeria Plc into a foreign account provided, I need a foreigner who is reliable and honest  person who is capable and fit to receive this money through a bank to bank wire transfer.

During the course of our auditing  last month, I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 2008 and since 2011 nobody has operated on  this account again, after going through some old files, I discovered that the owner of the account did not states any Next  Of Kin, hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing by our  managment. 

The owner of this Account is Engineer{Fredrick} a foreigner, and an industrialist, and no other person knows about this  account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation prove to me to be perfect and  risk free.

However, I am revealing this to you believing in God that you will never let me down when the money is  transferred into your foreign nominated bank account. at the conclusion of this business, I will give to you 40% of the  total amount, while 55% will be for me and 5% percent will be used for any expenses we might run into during the processing  of the fund Transfer.   Am looking forward to hearing from you.

Reply me back at this alternative E-mail address: accountantsamosi@deepfistings.com you can  include your telephone or mobile number for easy Communication. 

Best Regards  Mr.Sam Osierr'

Urgent response needed.   

The information contained in this message may be CONFIDENTIAL and is intended for the addressee only. Any unauthorized use,  dissemination of the information or copying of this message is prohibited. If you are not the addressee, please Notify the  sender immediately by return e-mail and delete this message.

Thank you


_______________________

Email: accountantsamosi@deepfistings.com  <--- duh the deepfistings.com  was a sure giveaway

[The Dreaming Dragon]

Today's entry is a bit unusual,but only slightly,and possibly a reflection of the USA's economy. Besides this "priest" greeting me with Shalom,I found the money being offered was to be in Brittish denomonations instead of dollars. Does a made up number sound better as Pounds instead of Dollars?

FROM THE DESK OF REV. PETER ADAMS
DIRECTOR, INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE
FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT,
OCEANIC BANK INTERNATIONAL PLC,
LONDON UK
 
Shalom and may the peace of the Lord be with you Dear Beneficiary.
 
I hereby officially notify you about the present arrangement to pay you the over
due contract/inheritance
fund of Ј30,000,000,00 (Thirty Million Great Britain Pounds Sterling) through
(ATM Visa Express Credit Card).
This arrangement was initiated/constituted by the World Bank and Paris Club due
to the delay to your
payment.

To this end, you are required to forward your personal details so that your fund
will be loaded into the ATM
Visa Express Card and then deliver it across to you as the TNT COURIER SHIPPING
COMPANY will be in
charge of the delivery services to your doorstep.

You are required to fill your personal information below here.

1) YOUR FULL NAME:
2) YOUR AGE:
3) YOUR SEX:
4) YOUR OCCUPATION:
5) YOUR RECEIVING ADDRESS:
6) YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS:
7) NAME OF YOUR COUNTRY:
YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER:

Upon the receipt of your mail with your personal information, your
Ј30,000,000,00 (Thirty Million Great
Britain Pounds Sterling) will be loaded into the ATM Visa Express Credit Card
and a scan copy of the ATM
CARD containing your  Ј30,000,000,00 (Thirty Million Great Britain Pounds
Sterling) both the Deposit slip
confirming that your  Ј30,000,000,00 (Thirty Million Great Britain Pounds
Sterling) was fully credited into the
ATM CARD and also the big brown envelop containing the ATM CARD will be sent
across to you by email
before I dispatch the ATM CARD across to you through the TNT COURIER SHIPPING
COMPANY. 

Finally, kindly NOTE that you will be asked to pay for your Insurance Coverage
Fee which i do not know the
real amount it will cost you but i promise to help you if you may need a hand of
help from me on the
Insurance Coverage fee and that is the only fee that will be demanded from you
to pay by the TNT
COURIER SHIPPING COMPANY while i take care of your shipping fee as I wait for
your urgent reply with
your personal information to enable your payment commence immediately.

CONGRATULATIONS IN ADVANCE.
 
BEST REGARDS,
REV. PETER ADAMS
DIRECTOR, INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE
FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT,
OCEANIC BANK INTERNATIONAL PLC,
LONDON

[|iR|Focalor]

<|iR|Focalor> !quote nigeria
<+TastyBot> Quote 1 of 1: <|iR|Focalor> nigeria is when black people get the runs

[The Dreaming Dragon]

This latest exhibit had me for a sincere LOL from the rediculous premise. A "diplomatic agent" lost my address and is stranded at Orlando Florida ,and now they want ME to provide the guy with my address,credentials and the usual nonsense. Is he at Universal Studios trying to find Harry Potter in that damn attraction? Is he Homer Simpson to be able to ask the home office for help but not for the info he needs? Have these people ever ridden a plane in the post (/11 era where you CAN'T just wander on any sort of plane without the right ticket? And is the home office RUN by Homer Simpson since they sent him out and have to turn to ME for the right address? They even ask for the right Airport to go to.  Wow. And somewhere there is a website called diplomats.com...its where they all go and troll each other about their Mad Skillz. Come on,guys! Lay off the caht and TRY goddamn it! Two points for Gryphondor!

ATTENTION :
 
 
 We wish to inform you that the diplomatic agent conveying the consignment box
valued the sum of $4.5 Million United States Dollars misplaced your address and
he is currently stranded at Orlando International airport Florida now. We
required you to
re-confirm the following information below so that he can deliver your
consignment box to you today.

 
NAME:=============================
ADDRESS:==========================
MOBILE NO:========================
NAME OF YOUR NEAREST AIRPORT:=====
A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION:====

Please do contact the diplomatic agent with the email below with the
information required.

 
Contact Person : Mr. Ejimofor Benson
EMAIL:(ejimoforbenson0@diplomats.com)
Phone Number.(754)816-9619


He is waiting to hear from you today with the information.
 
NOTE : The Diplomatic agent does not know that the content of the consignment
box is $4.5 Millions United States Dollars and on no circumstances should you
let him know the content. The consignments was moved from here as family
treasures, so never allow him to open the box.
 
Thanks.
Dr.Williams Simbi

[Zeppelin]

Lol, Arnold Schwarzenegger calls an email scammer in Ghana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4fV-dCc6cc

Then, the 2nd prank call to him, with a Dr.Phil soundboard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTit62l5KYM&feature=related

 

[beanstorm]

All these people in Nigeria always giving away huge sums of money to unsuspecting Americans... no wonder those motherfuckers live in squalor.

The flow of money may just be going in the other direction. But I get your point about the squalor and Im wondering
 if its just down to lack of walmarts in africa to purchase cheap cleaning products from?

[peewee_RotA]

All these people in Nigeria always giving away huge sums of money to unsuspecting Americans... no wonder those motherfuckers live in squalor.

The flow of money may just be going in the other direction. But I get your point about the squalor and Im wondering
 if its just down to lack of walmarts in africa to purchase cheap cleaning products from?

And thus was born the Wal-Marts of the world fund. Donate $10 and we'll write a very convincing letter to tell wal-mart to build a store in Nigeria.

[The Dreaming Dragon]

I liked this one because of one line that caught my eye: Mental Payments. As in you only THINK you're getting a slice of make believe delivered to you,and you can pay their Holding Fee with a simple text message! Totally Mental!

HSC 1894 WESTERN LONDON ROAD
KOFO ABAYOMI VICTORIA ISLAND
LAGOS NIGERIA
NAME:MRS ROSE JORDAN
 
REF: CBN/IRD/-NY-CBX/021/11
RE: RSVX /07342/01/11
 
WESTERN UNION INSTALL MENTAL PAYMENT ONLY.
 
Attention,
 
Security payment Identification Number: XWUNTM000182
 
 
 
 
 
 
ATTN:RECEIVER OUR EMAIL ADDRESS SELECTED WINNER,
 
 
 
WE HAVE TODAY MADE YOUR PAYMENT AVAILABLE TODAY AND YOU CAN TRACK AND
CONFIRM ONLINE OR VIA TELEPHONE BELOW,
 
YOU SHALL BE RECEIVING MTCN NUMBERS FOR 5,000 USD EVERYDAY UNTIL YOUR
FUNDS OF 2,000,000 USD IS PAID COMPLETELY..
 
 
You will pickup the below install mental payment at any western union
office nearest to you with the below information's as soon as you send
the (FEES)OF $75 USD FOR endorsement & daily activation file fee
today. You are to track your first install mental payment online at
www.westernunion.com OR Call Western Union tracking number
1-800-325-6000 for available fund for your verification purpose.
 
 
Below is the Western Union Details for you record, You can Track it online now.
https://wumt.westernunion.com/asp/orderStatus.asp?country=global
Money Transfer Control Number (M.T.C.N):  #  4512343267
SENDERS NAME: ALEX ILOCHI.
MTCN NUMBER: (4512343267)
AMOUNT: $5000.00USD.
TRACK ONLINE ON www.westernunion.com
 
 
PLEASE BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO RECIEVE THIS PAYMENT
WITH THIS MTCN NUMBER,BECAUSE THIS 5,000 USD IS ON HOLD BECAUSE YOU
HAVE NOT PAID FOR THE DAILY ACTIVATION FEES OF 75 USD,
 
Please you have to send the $75usd immediately today through Western
union Money Transfer Or Money Gram.
 
Receivers Name: Sandra Karl
Location:Lagos,Nigeria
TEXT QUESTION:T
Text Answer:F
Amount:$75 usd
MTCN
Senders Name
Senders Address
 
ONCE AGAIN YOU CAN NOT RECEIVE THIS FUNDS DUE TO YOUR FUNDS IS ON HOLD
ITS NOT YET ACTIVE TILL YOU PAY THE REQUIRED FEES OF 75 USD BEFORE YOU
MONEY WILL BE RELEASED ON YOUR NAME,
 
 
Our Regards and we are sorry for the inconvenience please bears with us.
Thanks for your co-operation and Waiting to hear from you soonest.
 
We look forward to serving you better.
 
Best regards,
MRS SANDRA KARL
Western Union Payments

[peewee_RotA]

I saw a clever one recently. We are looking at moving and responded to an ad by e-mail. When the guy got back to us, he explained that he is moving to work at Cern but is currently in Africa. He continued that we should just send him the rent money and he promises that he'll send the key... from Africa.

He also tried to cover his bases explaining that all of the real estate people want a slice of the money, so we shouldn't contact them. Even though it's listed for sale under several agents... recently. 

[The Dreaming Dragon]

This specimen had me imagining these Nigerian fellow cracking each other up by imitating what they thought to be Stiff Upper Lip English Gentry. I say old Bean! Care for a spot of Tea to wash down this e-mail full of cow bollocks,what?



Attn Beneficiary,

We the entire members of the Royal House of Treasury, on behalf of the
Government of Great Britain, under the auspices of the Her Royal Majesty Queen
Elizabeth of England II held a meeting this week concerning payment,both foreign
and local contractors
and some inheritance funds which were not released to the right benefactors.Her
Royal Majesty, has just informed this office (Royal House of Treasury)that All
the listed contractors and Inheritance funds factors which their CONTRACT
PAYMENT SUM AND
INHERITANCE FUNDS were not paid to should be released to them with effect. We
discovered that your payment listed to us million dollars (GBP33.5M) Great
Britain Pounds(GBP33.5M), you are advised to respond with effect so that we will
process your payment to be made in any form you wish to receive your
funds.Kindly respond to this office so that your payment will be process and
transferred under 72hours of receiving this email.
On going through files yesterday, we discovered that your file was dumped
untreated, so at this juncture, we apologize for the delay of your payment and
please stop communicating with any office now and attention to the appointed
office below for you to receive your payment accordingly. Now your new Payment
Reference,Allocation Password, Pin Code and your Certificate of Merit Payment
Released Code ; Immediate Telex confirmation; Secret Code ,Having received these
vital payment number, therefore You are qualified now to receive and confirm
Your payment with the United
Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland immediately within 72hours You are
directed to reconfirm your full detailed information, as stated:

FULL NAME, HOME ADDRESS,
PROFESSION and MARITAL STATUS,
AGE, HOME PHONE NUMBER and CELL PHONE NUMBER
as well as time to call you on the phone.

Best Regards

Mr.Edwards David
Royal House of Treasury

[[BTF]Sigma]