Oh those wacky Nigerians!

[|iR|Focalor]

A wonderful email I received...

----------------------------------
Hello pal,

I need your assistance, I Am SGT. Matt Lowell and i'm with the Engineering unit here in
Ba'qubah Iraq for the United States, I have about 43.7 million US dollars that I want to
move out of the country. I need a good partner,someone I can trust to actualize this
venture.The money is from oil deal and legal.

But I am moving it by diplomatic means to your house directly or a safe and secured
location of your choice using diplomatic courier services. But can I trust you? Once the
funds get to you, you take your 30% out and keep 70% until i come to meet with you. Your
own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to. Mine is
sending it to you.

If you are interested reply and I will furnish you with more details.

Urgently awaiting your response.

SGT. Matt Lowell
------------------------------------

I'm contemplating sending the person back something like this:

That sounds like a great idea! Hey, I think I've got an even BETTER idea! How about you send me the 43mil, I take my 30%, I hold the 70% until you get here, then I shoot you in the head 11 or 12 times until you don't have a fucking head anymore, and then I keep 100% of it! Because you better believe I'd be willing to murder someone for that much cash. So yeah, hit me back. I tell you what, give me YOUR address and I'll come pick it up, just so you won't have to deal with anyone else. I look forward to meeting you.

[UUD-40]

A wonderful email I received...

----------------------------------
Hello pal,

I need your assistance, I Am SGT. Matt Lowell and i'm with the Engineering unit here in
Ba'qubah Iraq for the United States, I have about 43.7 million US dollars that I want to
move out of the country. I need a good partner,someone I can trust to actualize this
venture.The money is from oil deal and legal.

But I am moving it by diplomatic means to your house directly or a safe and secured
location of your choice using diplomatic courier services. But can I trust you? Once the
funds get to you, you take your 30% out and keep 70% until i come to meet with you. Your
own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to. Mine is
sending it to you.

If you are interested reply and I will furnish you with more details.

Urgently awaiting your response.

SGT. Matt Lowell
------------------------------------

I'm contemplating sending the person back something like this:

That sounds like a great idea! Hey, I think I've got an even BETTER idea! How about you send me the 43mil, I take my 30%, I hold the 70% until you get here, then I shoot you in the head 11 or 12 times until you don't have a fucking head anymore, and then I keep 100% of it! Because you better believe I'd be willing to murder someone for that much cash. So yeah, hit me back. I tell you what, give me YOUR address and I'll come pick it up, just so you won't have to deal with anyone else. I look forward to meeting you.

Use a little false information, keep them going. 

[The Dreaming Dragon]

Today's installment is short but interesting,the most interesting bits being he sent along an HTM attachment (which I wisely will ignore) and that the e-mail adress "originated" from robert.com. Are the Roberts orginizing?

Hello,
I am a staff of Private Banking Services at the Bank of China (BOC) United
Kingdom . An investment was placed under my management four years ago by a
customer who is now deceased. I need your assistance in investing these funds.
if you're interested contact me via my private email. If you'are not interested
in my offer do not respond to this email.
Attached to this mail is full message, read and reply immediately.
Robert Brown

Oh and this one,who only deals with "reputable clients that are honest and trustworthy"...

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL NOTICE:
 
I am MR. YUSULF MOHAMED, Auditing Manager Guarantee Trust Bank an institution that arranges untraceable asset management and safekeeping of special and valuable packages and baggage in trust for reputable clients that are honest and trustworthy. We wish to  inform you of the availability of a safe deposit box with our Security firm for which you have been listed as the beneficiary, a benefactor who is a citizen of your country and whose identity cannot be disclosed because of the Non Circumvention and Non Disclosure Agreement that was signed with the said benefactor when the safe deposit box was being deposited, made you the beneficiary of a box which contains some amount of money and instructed clearly that you should only be notified of its availability after the expiration of the maturity date and that time has already elapsed, that is why you are being contacted.
 
The Non Circumvention and Non Disclosure Agreement signed with the benefactor mandates us to fully divulge and disclose the benefactor's identity one month after you, the beneficiary, has confirmed receipt of the funds. The funds in the safe deposit box totals $5.5M (Five million five hundred thousand United States Dollars) and we confirm that these funds are fully free of any liens or encumbrances and are clean, clear and of non-criminal origin and are  available in the form of CASH.
 
As soon as the information is confirmed with that provided by your benefactor, you will be notified immediately with instructions necessary for you to arrange and pick up the safe deposit box from our security company. We at Guarantee Trust Bank want to state clearly that our job will be to monitor the claim, give assistance where necessary and also advice you on behalf of your benefactor.
 
We cannot be directly involved in the claims, you will have to arrange directly with the Security company on the best and safest way for you to pick up your money as soon as possible. The Requested Information is to ensure that no mistake or error is made and it should be forwarded in the manner stated below:
 
Your Full Name : ___________________________________________________________________
Your Complete Address : ____________________________________________________________
Name of City of Residence: _______________________________Age:__________________________
Occupation: _________________________________________________________________________
Direct Telephone Number: ______________________Direct Fax Number: _______________________
 
The Telephone & Fax numbers are very necessary as they will be forwarded to the Security company staff, and forms faxed to you before the funds would be handed over to you so as to ensure that the package is handed over to the right person.
 
So its mandatory you send your Direct Telephone Number preferably your mobile or Cell Phone number.
 
Congratulations in advance.
 
Thank you and I sincerely remain,
 
MR. YUSULF MOHAMED
AUDITING MANAGER
GAURANTEE TRUST BANK PLC
WEBSITE: www.gtbank.com

[The Dreaming Dragon]

Nigerian advance-fee scammer gets 12 years

http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9183578/Nigerian_advance_fee_scammer_gets_12_years

[peewee_RotA]

Nigerian advance-fee scammer gets 12 years

http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9183578/Nigerian_advance_fee_scammer_gets_12_years

I hear that he'll accept a longer sentence if you agree to pay his court costs.

[soh]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0e-pPfITts

[QwazyWabbit]

Just got this one, nice and short, too bad they can't spell.

Mrs Helen Cole told me to send this mail to you as at last two (2) weeks
regarding you to contact her Lawyer but I forgot to do it and now that she
is in state of comma I have to let you know what she told me to tell you.

Below are the details she gave me for you to contact her lawyer.

etc. etc.

I feel sorry for Mrs. Cole. I hope her comma is not too uncomfortable. I prefer apostrophes myself.

[[BTF]Sigma]

This notification memo has been sent to you three times without a response from you and this will be the last time and I do hope you receive it.
 
This is an unconventional way of relaying an important message such as this. Due to the urgency of this issue, I resorted in contacting you via email and I do apologize if it did not meet up with professional ethics.
 
This inquiry is about an account holder (Name Withheld) who bears same surname with you and the true position of his deposits at ADB Invest Account. This Investor died and has no successor in title over his fund with the bank amounting to over USD$7,000,000.
 
The essence of this communication with you is to request that you provide us information/comments on any or all of the four issues as regards nominating you to inherit the fund left behind by this client.
 
1-Are you aware of any relative/relation born on the 2nd of February 1951, who bears your same surname whose last known contact address was Angola, in Southern Africa?
 
2-Are you aware of any investment of considerable value made by such a person at the ADB Bank Group?
 
3-Can you confirm your willingness to accept this inheritance if you are legally and legitimately appointed.
 
4-Would you agree to donate part of this inheritance to charity if you are officially approved to stand as the inheritor?
 
It is pertinent that you inform us ASAP whether or not you are familiar with this personality or and your interest towards the issues mentioned.
 
You must appreciate that we are constrained from providing you with more detailed information at this point. We will provide you with additional information upon receipt of your response.
 
Upon your response, our senior consultant Officer will contact you with more detailed information on the deceased client and the process of nominating you to inherit his wealth.
 
Your faithful,
 
Ms. Fiona Richardson

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm RICH!!!

[The Dreaming Dragon]

One of many I've recieved...butone aspect I liked:its from a Mr Robert Johnson ("Hey! Dick Johnson! Ain't I the funny one!") but reading the origin address of the sender,its acidacidmyman@att.net. Explains the name at least !

FROM THE DESK OF:
Mr Robert Johnson
DIRECTOR, INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE
FOREIGN OPERATIONS.

ATTENTION: SIR
                           
                           YOUR OVER DUE INHERITANCE FUNDS.
 
THIS IS TO NOTIFY YOU THAT YOUR OVER DUE INHERITANCE FUNDS HAS BEEN AZZETED TO
BE RELEASED, VIA KEY TELEX TRANSFER (KTT) -DIRECT WIRE TRANSFER TO YOU BY THE
SENATE COMMITTEE FOR FOREIGN OVER DUE FUND TRANSFER.MEANWHILE,A WOMAN CAME TO MY
OFFICE FEW DAYS AGO WITH A LETTER,CLAIMING TO BE YOUR TRUE REPRESENTATIVE.HERE
ARE HER INFORMATIONS:
 
NAME JANET WHITE
BANK NAME: CITI BANK
BANK ADDRESS:ARIZONA, USA.
ACCOUNT Number: 6503809428.
 
PLEASE,DO RECONFIRM TO THIS OFFICE ,AS A MATTER OF URGENCY IF THIS WOMAN IS FROM
YOU SO THAT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYING INTO
THE WRONG ACCOUNT NAME.

THE RESERVE BANK GOVERNOR,EXECUTIVE, BOARD OF DIRECTORS AND THE SENATE COMMITTEE
FOR FOREIGN OVER DUE INHERITTANCE FUND HAVE APPROVED AND ACCREDITED THIS
REPUTABLE BANK WITH THE OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR, INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE/FOREIGN
OPERATIONS,TO HANDLE AND TRANSFER ALL FOREIGN INHERITTANCE FUNDS THIS SECOND
QUARTER PAYMENT OF THE YEAR.
 
HOWEVER,WE SHALL PROCEED TO ISSUE ALL PAYMENTS DETAILS TO THE SAID MRS.WHITE,IF
WE DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU WITHEN THE NEXT SEVEN WORKING DAYS FROM TODAY. YOU WILL
HAVE TO CONTACT ME ON THIS ALTERNATIVE
MEANWHILE,PLEAES RE-CONFIRM TO ME IF THE IS INLINE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR
RECORDS AND ALSO RE-CONFIRM TO ME THE DETAILS AS FOLLOWINGS:
 
1) YOUR FULL NAME:
2) PHONE,FAX AND MOBILE NUMBER#:
3) COMPANY NAME,POSITION AND ADDRESS:
4) COPY OF INT'L PASSPOST:
5) AGE AND MARITAL STATUE:
 
CONGRATULATIONS IN ADVANCE.
 
BEST REGARDS,
 
Mr Robert Johnson

[Th0m@s29]

LMFAO those bastards!

[Zeppelin]

Greetings,
 
I am Barr Noah Kammer, an attorney at law. A deceased client of mine Mr.Robert Spoon,who here in after shall be referred to as my client,died in
Plane crash during his visit to Brazil on July 18th 2007 11.26 Am. ET as reported http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2007/07/25/brazil-aviation.html
I contact you to assist in receipt of this money left behind by my late client before it is confiscated or declared unserviceable by the finance house where this
deposit valued at US $5.6Million Dollars, is lodged. This bank has issued me a notice to contact the next of kin, or the account would be
confiscated.
 
My proposition to you is to seek your permission by presenting you as the next-of -kin and beneficiary of my deceased client, to present you as the next-of-kin and
beneficiary of my late client, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid through you. Then we can share the amount mutually, base on our
percentage agreement. All legal back up documents for claim and as my client's next-of-kin will be provided. In addition I seek for your honest
co-operation and trust, to enable us achieves this transaction successfully.
 
This will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect both of us from any breach of the law. Therefore If this business proposition
offends your moral values, do accept my apology. I must use this opportunity to implore you to exercise an utmost indulgence
to whatever your decision is, while I await your prompt response. Please contact me at once to indicate your interest. I will like you to
acknowledge the receipt of this e-mail as soon as possible via email as this transaction will be treated privately with absolute trust and
sincerity among us. Please send your response to this email address if you are interested: noahkammerg@yahoo.cn
 
I look forward to hear from you.
 
Best regards,
Barr. Noah Kammer (Esq).
---

anybody wants 5.6 millions?

[soh]

LMAO I don't know anyone stupid enough to fall for this kinda crap

[The Dreaming Dragon]

This newest exhibit,I must say,shows a surprising amount of injenuity: instead of promising you millions,they offer you a "job" to process online orders. They still "need" your credit card number so their customers can pay YOU,but at least its almost refreshing!

Bluesea Hose & Nozzle Co.
Unit 2, Waverley Road,
Beeches Industrial Estate,
Yate, Bristol. BS37 5QT
Tel: +44 704 572 9422
Fax: +44 700 593 8471
blueseahosenozzle@btinternet.com

Good day,

My name is Jeremy McGee; I am emailing you on behalf of Bluesea Hose & Nozzle
Co, United Kingdom. I would like to know if you would like to work online from
home and get paid without affecting your present job or even affecting your
day-to-day activities of any kind, actually we need a representative who can
work for our company as an Online Payment Processor.

We are presently making waves in the United Kingdom & Northern Ireland markets,
we intend expanding our business towards the United States of America by
accepting orders from both individuals and companies within USA. We recently
placed Ad's on online websites for sales of our product and got a very good
number of requests for our products, however it is against our company policy to
accept International Payments such as: USA Certified Checks, USA Bank Wire
Transfers, USA Money Orders. Therefore, we are requesting your partnership to
assist in receiving payments on behalf of our company.

We are willing to pay you 10% for every payment processed through you from our
clients/customers who will pay for their products which are purchased from our
secure website stated above. These payments are coming from these clients within
USA and will be sent to you directly from our customers, all you have to do is
lodge and cash each payment, deduct 10% and forward 90% to our Payment
Processing Center via Western Union Money Transfer / Money Gram Money Transfer.
All sending fee's are to be deducted from our 90%, however you will be required
to have a valid checking account in which our customers might request to make
payment either via Wire Transfer (Bank to Bank Transfer) or Credit Card either
via Certified Check.

You do not require any special skills to work with our firm, however in order to
apply for this job you need to ensure you have access to your e-mail regularly
and reply to our e-mails promptly. You will also need to provide us with a valid
phone in which you can be reached at anytime in case of any special update, in
order to accept this job kindly fill the form stated below:

Full Name:
Address:
City:
State:
Country:
Zip Code:
Phone Number:
Age:
Current Occupation:

Note: You must have a valid Credit Card account in which can be used to receive
payments being sent from a customer, this might be via Wire Transfer or Direct
Deposit.

Kindly get back to me ASAP by filling the form stated above, once I hear from
you I will immediately send you a reply with further information.

Regards,
Jeremy McGee
Programme Directors / Recruiter Agent
Bluesea Hose & Nozzle Co.

[|iR|Focalor]

When the fuck did Merrill Lynch merge with Bank of America?

[The Dreaming Dragon]

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/business/08split.html

And I only heard of it(or recalled it) as it was mentioned in Griftopia as the Shotgun Wedding. Very good book as Quad has recommended it elsewhere here...and VERY scarely true.