A Secluded Place to Call Her Own

[myamagical]

English teacher assigned a creative writing assignment for us: write about a secluded place. read this and let me know what you think. let me know if any changes can be made to it.

thanks!

[{TNP}Dukie]

I read it.
Seems exactly like the stuff I wrote in creative writing when we had an assignment and had to include all of the metaphors and such
Should be good enough for an A

[quadz]

Nice vocabulary.

[myamagical]

k, i revise it a little bit. got rid of a lot of 'sometimes' and whatnots. hopefully it's a little better now... i'm not gonna repost it again 'til I get it back from the teacher.

thanks for your feedback Dukie & quadz.

- Mya

[[BTF] Reflex]

good luck!!!!

[johnny]

What Quadz said.

Here's a little revision exercise (from a former writing teacher): Reduce the number of adjectives by 50%. Ditto for the number of verbs that are "to be."

Interesting that the most descriptive language rarely employs large numbers of adjectives, which are the supposedly descriptive words.

Try not to tell me simply that something is there. What's it DOING? Get some action in here!

Oh, and when you're finished with the reductions mentioned above and you have draft #2, go back and do the same thing to it.

Cheers!

Johnny

[Om3ga]

thats how i write my p.e reports

[myamagical]

 

I got a 96 on this.

read: A

[KobraKlaws]

 

[myamagical]

 

[KobraKlaws]