Joke :)

[[BTF]MangyMutt]

Q: Did you know that oral sex and smoking cigarettes are very much alike?

Q: Oh? How is that?

A: 'Cause the closer you get to the butt...the stronger the flavor gets.   

WOOF!

[hieronymous]

probably more applicable if on a woman

[[BTF]Sigma]

What's the fastest speed sex can reach?


68, because at 69 you have to stop and turn around.

[[BTF]MangyMutt]

What's the fastest speed sex can reach?


68, because at 69 you have to stop and turn around.

lol N1

[|iR|Focalor]

Q: What do doctors do with the circumsized foreskin of babies penises?

A: Sell it to fags as chewing gum.

[[BTF]Sigma]

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


That's nasty.

Urban Dictionary: Surrey Girl



Q. What's the difference between a Surrey Girl and Butter?
A. Butter's harder to spread.


Q.What's the difference between a surrey girl and a washing machine?
A You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for 6 months.

Q. Whats the difference between an Surrey girl and an ironing board ?
A. Occasionally you have trouble getting the legs apart on an ironing board.

Q. What's the difference between a Surrey girl and the titanic?
A. You know how many men went down on the titanic.

Q. Why is a Surrey girl like an old washing machine?
A. They both drip when f**cked.

Q. Why do Surrey girls use tampons with long strings?
A. So the crabs can go bungy jumping..........

Q. How do you know when a Surrey girl's has an orgasm?
A. She drops her bag of chips.

Q. What does a Surrey girl do with her c!!!nt after sex?
A. She takes him out for a beer.

Q. How many Surrey girls does it take to make a chocolate chip cookie?
A. Five. One to stir the mixture and four to peel the smarties.

Q. Why are Surrey girls only allowed 30 minute lunch breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour.

Q. What does a Surrey girl say after her doctor tells her that she’s pregnant.
A. Is it mine?

Q. Why was the Surrey girl so pleased to complete a jigsaw puzzle in 18 months?
A. Because the box said "From 2 to 5 years"

Q. How do you make an Surrey girl laugh on a Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on a Wednesday

Q. What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a fridge?
A. A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

Q. Why does a Surrey girl drool?
A. Because she is full.

Q. Why do ESurrey girls wear green lipstick?
A. Red means stop.

Q. Why is it good to have an Surrey girl passenger?
A. You can park in the handicapped spots.

Q. Why do Surrey girls wear so much hair spray?
A. So they can catch all the things going over their heads.

Q. Why do Surrey girls wear hoop earrings?
A. So they'll have someplace to rest their ankles.

Q. What's the difference between a Surrey girl and the Panama Canal?
A. One's a busy ditch.....

Q. Why do Surrey girls write TGIF on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.

Q. Why do Surrey girls like tilt steering wheels?
A. More head room.

Q. Why don't Surrey girls like pickles?
A. They can't get their head in the jar.

Q. What do you call six Surrey girls in a row?
A. A wind tunnel.

Q. How is a Surrey girl like a beer bottle?
A. They are both empty from the neck up.

Q. What do you call a Surrey girl with half a brain?
A. Gifted!

Q. What do you call a Surrey girl with a whole brain?
A. A Golden Retriever!

Q. Why is a Surrey girl like a turtle?
A. They're both f@!!!ked when they're on their back.

Q. What's the first three things a Surrey girl does in the morning?
1. Says "Thanks guys... "
2. Introduces herself.
3. Goes home.

Q. How many Surrey girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
1. "What's a lightbulb?"
2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daddy!"

Q. What do you call a Surrey girl with a loonie on the top of her head?
A. All you can eat, under a buck.

Q. Why did the Surrey girl scale the glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other side.

Q. Whats the difference between a Surrey girl and a Porsche?
A. You don't lend the Porsche out to your friends.

Q. How does an Surrey girl like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.

Q. Why did the Surrey girl stop using the pill?
A. It kept falling out.

Q. What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a limousine?
A. Not everybody has been in a limo.

Q. Why did the Surrey girl go halfway to Norway then turn around & come home?
A. It took her that long to figure out a 14 inch Viking was a TV set.

Q. What do a Ford Escort door and a Surrey girl have in common?
A. The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Q. What's the irritating part around a Surrey girl's vagina?
A. The Essex girl!

Q. How do you describe a Surrey girl surrounded by drooling idiots?
A. Flattered.

Q. How do you amuse a Surrey girl for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

Q. How can you tell if a Surrey girl has been in your refrigerator?
A. By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and Surrey girls have in common?
A. They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q. Why do Surrey girls drive cars with sunroofs?
A. More leg room.

Q. Why do Surrey girls have orgasms ?
A. So they know when to stop having sex !

Q. How do you tell when an Surrey girl reaches orgasm????
1. She drops her nail-file!!!
2. Who cares?
3. She says 'Next'
4. The next person in line taps you on the shoulder
5. He's had his clothes on for about 2 minutes
6. The batteries have run out.

Q. What did the Surrey girl's mum say to her before her date.
A. If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

Q. Why don't Surrey girls breast feed their babies?
A. Because it's too painful to boil the nipples.

Q. Why do Surrey girls drive VW's
A. Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!

Q. Why was the Surrey girl depressed when she received her driver's license?
A. Because she got an F in sex.

Q. What do you call an Surrey girl with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant

Three preganant women (a Langley girl, a Surrey girl and a New West girl) are discussing the facts of life.
The Langley girl declares, "I'm going to have a boy".
"How do you know?", asks the Surrey girl.
"Well, I was on the bottom when we did it and so its going to be a boy", replied the Langley girl.
The New West girl replies, "If that's the case, my child is a girl because I was on top".
The Surrey girl then starts bawling, "Then I'm going to have a puppy".

Surrey man and Surrey girl are in the back of his Pinto:-
Surrey man: Tracey, can I kiss you somewhere warm, wet and fishy?
Tracey: No, it's far too late to drive to Steveston!

[Daemia]

   LOL I love these jokes Sigma   im emailing these ones.  Surrey is so nasty, its just like PG hey?  I'm looking forward to going to Calgary   

[[BTF]Sigma]

I'm not saying anything until I've been to PG. I've lived in Surrey, it's as nasty as you can get.

[HabibGoatAss]

Surry Girl - Absolutely lost reference, but some funny shit you got there.

Q: What is a Surrey Girl?
A: Fucked if I know, but the British dude thinks it's hilarious . . .

Iz dat da shiznit, G?

Kind of like

Q: Why do I consider myself a cosmetoligan?
A: Cuz I once done did some nails in New Jersey.

Q: Why can't I travel from New York into New Jersey?
A: Cuz my passport is expired.

Or

Q: Are you going home to visit your folks in West Virgina over the long week end bro?
A: Asshole - I already told ya I'm from Norfolk (nawfuk)

[@ngeldust-CRU]

Lol..Habib....you own a store!

[Waffle Whiffer]

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"