Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
April 25, 2024, 04:51:22 PM
News:
tastyspleen.net has a new discord server:
http://discord.tastyspleen.net
Home
Forum
Help
TinyPortal
Search
Calendar
Login
Register
tastyspleen::quake 2 community
»
Forum
»
Off-Topic Zone
»
Jokes
(Moderator:
[BTF]MangyMutt
) »
Things you should NEVER say to a woman
« previous
next »
Print
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
Author
Topic: Things you should NEVER say to a woman (Read 2868 times)
|iR|Focalor
Irrepressibly Profuse Member
Posts: 15693
Help Destroy America: VOTE DEMOCRAT
Rated:
Things you should NEVER say to a woman
«
on:
November 08, 2014, 12:48:05 AM »
So I was fucking this chick and in the sweaty passionate heat of the moment she whispered to me, "I want you to do whatever you want."
So I got up, went to the kitchen, and came back 30 seconds later with a funnel and a bottle of ketchup. She said, "What the fuck!?!" I said, "I'm gonna stick the funnel in your butthole, squirt half the bottle of ketchup up there, then I'm gonna take the funnel out and you're gonna push the ketchup out of your butthole onto a pan of meatloaf, and then we're gonna serve it to your mother."
She just said, "Fuck you!", got all her shit and left.
"WHAT!?! YOU SAID I COULD DO WHATEVER I WANT!!!"
Logged
|iR|Focalor
Irrepressibly Profuse Member
Posts: 15693
Help Destroy America: VOTE DEMOCRAT
Rated:
Re: Things you should NEVER say to a woman
«
Reply #1 on:
November 08, 2014, 12:57:02 AM »
1. Come on, just
try
it! Your sister does it all the time.
2. You do that better than your sister.
3. How could I with your sister? I could
tell
you, but it would be much easier to just
show
you the pictures I took.
Logged
[BTF]Sigma
Phenomenally Prodigious Member
Posts: 3059
Rated:
Re: Things you should NEVER say to a woman
«
Reply #2 on:
November 08, 2014, 01:08:41 AM »
A guy wakes up in a hospital bed after coming out of a coma. The Dr. attending flashes a penlight in his eyes and asks him how he's feeling. "I'm okay," the man responds.
The Dr. begins, "You were pretty banged up when you were brought in to the emergency ward. You have been in a coma for a week. There's a possibility you may have some brain damage so I'm going to start with a couple questions." The Dr. proceeds with the usual, "What year is this, how old are you?" before asking the man, "What do you remember last?"
The man furrows his brow as he struggles to remember and looks up at the Dr., "I remember being in an elevator and the most stunning woman came on with her biker boyfriend. She was wearing a really low cut, leather bandeau. She had the most amazing breasts I had ever seen. Her top might have well been a belt across those things. That top was tighter than your belt after Thanksgiving dinner, know what I mean. I was so transfixed on them. Like, I was full on staring, completely lost in her magnificent tits."
The Dr. asks, "Is there anything else you remember?"
"Yeah," the man replies, "She said, 'Press one, please.'"
Logged
|iR|Focalor
Irrepressibly Profuse Member
Posts: 15693
Help Destroy America: VOTE DEMOCRAT
Rated:
Re: Things you should NEVER say to a woman
«
Reply #3 on:
December 06, 2014, 01:49:41 PM »
1. What's that stuff on your pussy? Is that herpes?
2. You should go on a diet.
3. My last girlfriend was much better at giving blowjobs than you are.
4. Do you ever think what your life would be like if you weren't such a bitch?
Logged
Print
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
« previous
next »
tastyspleen::quake 2 community
»
Forum
»
Off-Topic Zone
»
Jokes
(Moderator:
[BTF]MangyMutt
) »
Things you should NEVER say to a woman
El Box de Shoutamente
Last 10 Shouts:
|iR|Focalor
April 24, 2024, 10:55:53 AM
omlette du fromage?
Admin
April 24, 2024, 07:08:22 AM
fin.
|iR|Focalor
April 22, 2024, 04:27:07 PM
Now it's over. Because I say it's over.
|iR|Focalor
April 22, 2024, 12:39:29 PM
It's over when I say it's over.
|iR|Focalor
April 22, 2024, 11:34:16 AM
Costigan needs a tampon.
Costigan_Q2
April 22, 2024, 02:53:12 AM
This interaction is over.
Costigan_Q2
April 22, 2024, 02:51:20 AM
Will someone please muzzle and leash that barking dog? it's projections and delusions and now endless babbling are comically pitiable, just treat it like you would Beaver - that's what it deserves.
Costigan_Q2
April 22, 2024, 02:50:50 AM
Quake 2 needs a public square.
This is not a debate.
|iR|Focalor
April 21, 2024, 05:36:24 PM
If you were attached to reality, you'd realize that.
Quake 2 needs a private bathroom.
|iR|Focalor
April 21, 2024, 05:34:35 PM
I've never doxed anyone like he did or sent them 1000's of annoying whiny angry messages in all caps like you.
Show 50 latest
User
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
April 25, 2024, 04:51:22 PM
1 Hour
1 Day
1 Week
1 Month
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Search
Advanced search